Alex Diedrick

Dear reps trying to help me reset my passwords: I’m sorry for all the farts and butts

RT @OhHeyJacob: A whole year of waiting for the right moment. Glorious. https://t.co/hzWgdh52tI

It’s unlikely, but how great would it be if the orange asshat got less electoral votes than Hillary in 2016?

“Don’t be afraid of Covid” Yeah I’m sure those 210k people were just too afraid.

RT @jecoreyarthur: Breonna Taylor is dead and one officer is charged with wanton endangerment and a $15K cash bond. This is how Kentucky fe…

Mixed feelings about an LA earthquake that would swallow us all up right now. It’s been a year #earthquake

idiot baby president

Axios @axios

.@jonathanvswan: “Oh, you’re doing death as a proportion of cases. I’m talking about death as a proportion of population. That’s where the U.S. is really bad. Much worse than South Korea, Germany, etc.” @realdonaldtrump: “You can’t do that.” Swan: “Why can’t I do that?” https://t.co/MStySfkV39

THIS IS FAR FROM OVER. STOP BEING IDIOTIC AND JUST WEAR A MASK.

NYT Science @NYTScience

The U.S. Department of Justice is warning about false face mask exemption cards widely spread online by a group called the Freedom to Breathe Agency https://t.co/nyCg97vFco

RT @pattonoswalt: what the fuck is happening WHAT IN THE FUCK

Didn’t get the LA curfew alert again today. For anyone else in the same boat, it’s at 9pm tonight for now #LACURFEW

I’m at the point of quarantine where I finish a whole bag of frosted animal crackers in a day. So I guess I was also quarantined from ages 14-20.

RT @AOC: “It’s your monthly rent, Michael. What could it cost? $10?” https://t.co/Bc0wdzVk0J

RT @frankjcatanzaro: This is huge folks #SuperTuesdayResults https://t.co/Y7WcNEuUIZ

RT @jakeras: here’s what that one scene in antz would look like in real life https://t.co/UKANCWk8Lp

Another hilarious crossover movie ideas: Under The Tuscan Skin. Just swap in Scarlett Johansson’s alien for Diane Lane #movieideas #wheresmymoviedeal

You guy know you can just pick apples at the store right?

Amazon’s Modern Love = “what if Woody Allen but not Woody Allen?”