Lisa Paradise

Googles: conflicted out

Mid session telling my therapist to check out @Jidenna to set some 👅💦 vibes. Girl should be paying ME for my services.

Thinking about all the 30 something’s who stayed up past their bedtime to cry for the duration of the album for the sheer reason it exists. You got this.

In apple’s biggest update yet - my phone finally autocorrected we’ll to well.

So we can be done caring about British Royals now, right? https://t.co/dDHTxsiAdb

I’ve been at @Walgreens for over an hour simply trying to get a receipt printed out. An hr for one piece of paper. I’ll never shit on CVS & their toilet paper again.

Gotta wake up in three hours so naturally i’m in bed picturing every scenario where I sleep through the alarm I don’t think I need since I won’t sleep if I can’t stop stressing if I’ll even hear my alarm when I knock out but how can I knock out knowing I only have 3 hours to sl… https://t.co/63cIWb2SEh

Today in 1960 Russia sent dogs to space for the first time & 62 years later I still cant get an office printer to work on the first try. https://t.co/4fddUWr3Il

Two things I learned in South Carolina: 1. They don’t know Keith Urban is Australian. 2. They think Keith is more famous than Nicole. Like have to snap their fingers to remember Nicole Kidman’s full name. Wild place.

Made way too much food for tonight’s Love Island 2022 finale party #loveisland https://t.co/kili2ZJekc

So like the keys…did it eat a janitor or where did they come from? #NopeMovie

"I'm happy he didn't pick me" #LoveIsland https://t.co/Sm1Vx8ztIe

I made you a cake, America #Happy4thofJuly https://t.co/51eNytvDwD

You are watching on demand. Pls do not try to vote or enter any competition or other interactivity in this program as it may not count & you may still be charged.

At a communal dining dinner & as i went to dig in to the food, i heard the woman next to me yell “ahh at at”. Turns out I was interrupting her as she took a pic of MY plate. Obviously I waited as she got her shot.

Is “just waiting for the warm weather” the new “we should hang soon” of lets-say-we’ll-make-plans-but-never-actually-make-those-plans?

Damn shame Olivia Coleman wasn’t famous when Harry Potter was being made