Octavia Lillywhite

Summer when you’re over 40 and a woman is basically getting to work each day and thinking “Is it hot or is this the menopause?” 🥵

There is so much that is so, so sad about not being able to have kids, but then Centre Parcs season comes around and I think, well, at least I will never ever, ever, ever need to book a holiday there 👍 Silver linings.

Imagine being this egotistical tho 🫣 https://t.co/wCjZyoJkHZ

April is such an exciting month. Every time you leave the house you’re like, “Do I need a sun hat or a ski suit?” And sometimes the answer is “Both”. https://t.co/nxM9JmAAzx

Have dogs always needed jackets? I feel like when I was younger dogs just used to go the park maxi-naked; a collar for modesty. But walking around my park now, all the dogs have got these big coats on. And then some are in mega fleece onsies just looking slam-dunk redunkulous. https://t.co/IcH7RJneWa

Stanley Johnson should get “only broke his wife’s nose once” put on his gravestone. But not the word “Sir”.

Excited to see all your kids dressed and their favourite film characters for World Book Day.

Anyone else thought that was me for a sec? 😂🤣😂 https://t.co/HBSMyRdg2a

The new thing I learned today: In France you can marry a dead person. It's rare and you have to jump through quite a lot of hoops, but if you had planned to marry in life, it's possible to still marry the person after they have suddenly/unexpectedly died.

Also, my girls, at the point any man says “I’m in love with both of you!”: WALK THE FUCK AWAY. Delete his number, pick you friends out from the mutual pot, unfollow, deep breath, look forward and not back. He’s not the one. #EmilyInParis #teamAlfie

I think I’m meant to hope Emily and Gabriel end up together but ewww. He’s so mopey and whiny and indecisive and uninspiring. Alfie is tough and cool and likes hot cars, plus he’s dedicated and committed. A much better match for a fixer like Emily. #teamAlfie #EmilyInParis

RT @SlenderSherbet: 2022: A Year in Review. https://t.co/cEy9mx3CbS

Rishi’s ‘we’re just a normal fam’ Christmas pic has the same energy as the posh guy at the end of Four Weddings & a Funeral. https://t.co/m63MbOXdci

Almost every day someone emails me and calls me Olivia. Like, the name is right there people, on the email address. Sometimes they used to do it on the phone too: - Hello, Octavia speaking - Hi Olivia! Do they think I've made a mistake and they're gently trying to correct me? 🤪

This article is a joy from top to bottom: 25 magical snowy escapes (minus the skis) https://t.co/ST145WJ0rZ

My absolutely favourite use for LinkedIn is having conversations with people using only the suggested conversation responses. LOL. Stay positive. I'm on my way!

Oh for heaven's sake.

Massimo @Rainmaker1973

A zombie snail It's been taken over by a parasite controlling its motor functions & eye stalks, mimicking caterpillars. The parasitic worm wants the snail to be eaten by birds, in whose intestines it will reproduce [read more: https://t.co/wBnf9NqYMJ] https://t.co/HoGB1nPmN6