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3 weeks ago | 
cancerhealth.com | Adam Hayden
“Rats!” Some time ago, Whitney started saying “Rats!” every so often when minor mistakes or slight inconveniences arose. “I got stuck by the train. Rats!” “We’re out of milk. Rats!” “I meant to switch the laundry before leaving. Rats!” Like all serendipitous things that land in your lap at just the right moment, I don’t know the full story behind the phrase, but I do know that all credit goes to Erin, one of Whitney’s best friends. I think of her as one of my best friends, too.
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4 weeks ago | 
cancerhealth.com | Adam Hayden
Tomorrow, I’ll be back on the radiation table for the first session of my second lifetime round of radiation. The time traveler returns. Did you watch that video of James Hetfield from Metalica, still rocking at 61 years old? He’s getting ready to step on stage. He takes a couple of puffs from a cigar, spends a little time in contemplation, head resting on hands, then he climbs the steps to take the stage. That’s actual footage of me right now. I’m on my comeback tour. I’ve struggled this month.
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1 month ago | 
cancerhealth.com | Adam Hayden
“I’m just so happy to see that you’re the same Adam!” I smiled through it. And in just the same way, I’m also happy that I’m the same Adam; the same me. And I’m happy to see him! We really did become friends during the six week course of radiation therapy in 2016. But behind the smile are the conflicting emotions.
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1 month ago | 
cancerhealth.com | Adam Hayden
Hey, before we get started The tech to my right stops sliding the table into the MRI machine and locks eyes with me through the lattice of the immobilization mask. He’s surprised that I stopped him. Was the scan ordered with contrast? Yeah, I think so. I mean, I’m pretty sure it was. Do you need to place an IV for that? Oh yeah! I mean, yes. We can do that now. Cool tattoos, by the way. Why a brain? Well, I have brain cancer.
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2 months ago | 
cancerhealth.com | Adam Hayden
Well, the tumor grew more. I know. Not the news you want. I don’t mean to break the news to some of you in such an impersonal way—via blog post. But scrolling through iMessages to let people know finds you opening a text conversation that you hadn’t attended to since October when you texted Hey thx for tonight I needed to get out Those tacaos were fire, right?
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2 months ago | 
cancerhealth.com | Adam Hayden
“How long does an MR spectroscopy scan usually take.”* The ground shifted beneath our feet in November. No, not that November. November 2023. I had a routine MRI scan that month that showed an anomalous area. It was “subtle.” The changes I mean. The little blurs of white against the dark charcoal of the MRI image: areas of enhancement, where the contrast dye lights up, indicating, well, indicating something. We watched and waited. Scanned again. More changes, this time a little more pronounced.
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Jan 30, 2025 | 
cancerhealth.com | Adam Hayden
“We cannot be a strong nation unless we are a healthy nation. And so, we must recruit not only men and materials, but also knowledge and science in the service of national strength.” —President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1940, at the opening of the National Institutes of Health.
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Jan 24, 2025 | 
cancerhealth.com | Adam Hayden
We’re the sort of middle class where I’d describe our furnishings as high-end dorm room. A couple side tables from Target that haven’t yet broken, and the newest things are from Wayfair and Ikea. I think the couch is from Costco. Which, by the way, they have a pre-made taco tray, and, friends, let me tell you, don’t sleep on the Costco pre-made taco tray. Great, easy weeknight dinner for the family. The crema in there, chef’s kiss, make sure you get a drizzle of crema on your tacos.
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Jan 19, 2025 | 
cancerhealth.com | Adam Hayden
When I began writing publicly about living with brain cancer, another healthcare-related topic was growing in awareness: Physician burnout. Physician burnout was/is not a new phenomenon. The cult medical classic The House of God (1978) is a lot of things, but chiefly, it is a treatise on physician burnout and the grueling existence of a medical resident, transitioning from medical school into attending physician.
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Jan 14, 2025 | 
cancerhealth.com | Adam Hayden
There’s a thing in serious or life-limiting illness that goes like this: After receiving a diagnosis, you’ll discover what’s really important, what really matters. This may take a process of acceptance, a little therapy, and some good old-fashioned being with your thoughts, but go through the work and come out the other side with a renewed sense of what you value in life. There’s a spurious second assumption that follows from the first: Discover what really matters, then focus on doing that.
