Al Batt

Hartland

Writer, speaker, storyteller, humorist, gagwriter, author, columnist, radio personality, and birder. Uffda! His mother thinks he’s a big deal.

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Articles

You Might Change the World or You Might Change its Diaper

3 days ago | fillmorecountyjournal.com | Al Batt

Graduates remember everything a speaker says as, “Blah, blah, blah.”I was at a graduation ceremony during a high school’s last roundup. The institution was down to its final three graduates. The salutatorian gave a talk before the valedictorian did her spiel. The one I was there to see grab a diploma didn’t give a speech. I knew where his class ranking was – last. He bragged he was third in his class. Even the student at the absolute bottom of the class can be inspirational.
Naturally Al Batt

4 days ago | albatt.substack.com | Al Batt

Naturally The feather report was for a 99% chance of grackles. They nailed it. It’s nearly impossible to describe a Baltimore oriole male without using the word “orange.” French fry gulls flew toward a fast-food restaurant. I watched a robin picking worms, paring its world to its essence. Northern house wrens brought hustle and bustle to the yard. These joyful enhancements to the local avian diversity might be smaller than their names. I’m amazed by what the world holds.
Al Batt: Leaf it up to a slice of the pieplant - Austin Daily Herald

1 week ago | austindailyherald.com | Al Batt

Published 5:19 pm Tuesday, May 6, 2025 Echoes from the Loafers’ Club MeetingI want to travel to Iceland. But I’m not sure which way to go. Whatever means necessary. No, it doesn’t. Driving by Bruce’s driveI have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. It’s easy to see the road signs of spring. Various red or orange markings indicating roadwork will occur. I love seeing the big leaves of the pieplant.
Coffee, Like Duct Tape in a Cup, Fixes Things

1 week ago | fillmorecountyjournal.com | Al Batt

His handwritten works featured jittery penmanship. But it’s no wonder Honoré de Balzac was prolific. He published scores of novels, novellas, plays and short stories. The author had ink in his blood, but his blood might have been nothing but coffee. Whether it’s legend or simply internet malarkey, I’ve read that he drank 50 cups of coffee a day – 51 cups when he needed an extra caffeine boost to stimulate himself into a frenzy of creativity. He wrote at full gallop.
Naturally Al Batt

1 week ago | albatt.substack.com | Al Batt

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Al Batt: Watch it — I don’t want to be late - Austin Daily Herald

2 weeks ago | austindailyherald.com | Al Batt

Published 5:14 pm Tuesday, April 29, 2025 Echoes from the Loafers’ Club MeetingWant to hear my Batman impersonation? Sure. Up, up and away!That’s Superman. Thanks, man. Driving by Bruce’s driveI have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. I noticed signs that had persisted long after the businesses had closed. I saw one proclaiming gas for $1.63 per gallon.
Spring Comes From a Long Line of Winters

2 weeks ago | fillmorecountyjournal.com | Al Batt

I’d promised myself I wouldn’t cry. And I didn’t shed a tear at winter’s passing. It had no last words. My fath-er’s last dying word was “Robert.”Robert was my uncle, my father’s brother, who had died as a young man. They were close. When I was a boy, my elders told me of someone who had said “Hello” with his last dying breath. I believed them. With all the people who have died, every word has been the last word. “Hello” is a common word.
Naturally Al Batt

2 weeks ago | albatt.substack.com | Al Batt

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Al Batt: It’s all about where you live - Austin Daily Herald

3 weeks ago | austindailyherald.com | Al Batt

Published 5:29 pm Tuesday, April 22, 2025 Echoes from the Loafers’ Club MeetingIt’s a sad thing. What’s that? All I’ve saved for a rainy day is the umbrella I lost. Driving by Bruce’s driveI have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. Vital statistics from the CDC and NCHS show the states that have the longest life expectancies are: 1. Hawaii (79.9 years), 2. Massachusetts, 3. Connecticut, 4. New Jersey and New York, 6. Minnesota (78.8 years), 7.
Not Seeing a Violet-Green Isn’t Easy to Swallow

3 weeks ago | fillmorecountyjournal.com | Al Batt

I needed to be getting ready when I heard the bubbly, gurgling sounds made by a purple martin in our home. It wasn’t an actual bird, but the authentic recorded sound of a purple martin coming from a bird clock. My father-in-law gave me one that lasted over 30 years. My wife gave me a replacement clock last year. The purple martin sounds off at 8. I was off to see the wizard—an ologist of some kind with many letters behind his last name. A cardinal sang.