Alex Lasker

is anyone else freaking out a little bit right now

omg read the room???? https://t.co/7dIHnXAqpg

any time you click on an Instagram ad for a beautiful dress, it will either cost $39 or $5,000 and there is no in between

……… go birds

Eagles Nation @PHLEaglesNation

Jalen Hurts on having an all-female management team: “It’s something that happened organically. I was seeking out the best, and that’s how it happened.. And honestly, it’s an eye that I don’t have that I’m able to lean on in certain situations. That’s something I value heavily.” https://t.co/iIDUvGoPh3

a lot of my friends had babies around the same time last year, and i feel like some of them are still infants while some of them are already 3 years old, can anyone explain this phenomenon to me

RT @cal_gif: being alive is great because there are so many different aiolis to try. but then of course there are also the horrors

they had to be reminded 🙂 https://t.co/ygdq2CDWsQ

every time they have to put you under anesthesia for a medically necessary reason, they should be able to give you one (1) free piercing, tattoo, or other body modification of your choosing

this is so rude https://t.co/24kkXwQMUc

no one prepares you for how special it is to meet the homies' babies. like, that's *you,* chief — in mini form! you made that and it is you! i am going to die.

the fact that T comes after S don't sit right with me

imagine having a son — carrying him for 9 months, giving birth, raising him, providing for him, loving him through it all — and then one day finding out he's been disparaging sydney sweeney's bikini pics online

me at 21: i am ugly, disgusting, a true waste of space and oxygen. apologies to those who are forced to bear witness :( me at 31: oh would you look at that, i seem to be getting hotter by the millisecond. if there is an end to this progression, i have yet to see it :)

RT @eyuplovely: The assassin had a good run but in the end no American can resist the urge to eat cheese burger