Andrew Knott

1 month ago | creators.yahoo.com | Andrew Knott

Spring is here, and if your lawnmower needs a little maintenance after its long winter slumber, this 43-step tutorial is all the help you'll need to get the job done. Probably. 1. Pull the cord on your lawnmower enough times that you work up a decent sweat: the type where the roots of your hair are just a little damp and sweat marks are starting to form on your gray t-shirt. If you happen to live in Florida like I do, that will take approximately five pulls, depending on your level of fitness. 2.

2 months ago | medium.com | Andrew Knott

Humor | Satire“Sleep when the baby sleeps… and at all other times.”Sleep when the baby sleeps…and at all other timesAs a new parent, it’s important that you stay rested. It’s kind of like when you’re on an airplane and the pressure in the cabin drops; you must put your oxygen mask on first before assisting others. The same is true when you have a newborn, but instead of air, what you need most is sleep. So, sleep when the baby sleeps. But don’t stop there. Sleep when the baby is awake, too.

2 months ago | creators.yahoo.com | Andrew Knott

The children demolished our playground this week. It graced our backyard for nearly a decade and now it’s gone. All that’s left is empty space and a pile of rotting wood planks. The destruction was a collective effort. My two youngest kids participated while my middle schooler watched from the sidelines (in his VR headset). My kids didn’t act alone. They assembled one of the top demolition teams in the history of mankind.

2 months ago | creators.yahoo.com | Andrew Knott

The single most important thing I wish I had known before I won a giant yellow duck stuffed animal at a theme park’s basketball carnival game was just how exhausting it would be to carry that thing around all day. Not physically exhausting — the big guy was actually quite light and the early spring Florida weather was pleasant — but emotionally exhausting. The thing nobody tells you about carrying a humongous duck around a theme park is that you have to be “on” at all times.

Mar 29, 2025 | medium.com | Andrew Knott

Member-only storyHumor | SatireDad: “We were robbed.”Andrew Knott·FollowPublished inFrazzled·3 min read·--image from CanvaFLORIDA — “We were robbed. Plain and simple. I don’t know how long it will take me to get over this,” a despondent Drew Watt lamented following his son’s team’s loss in the championship game of the Winter B Rec League Season at Future Stars Basketball Academy.