Andrew Knott

2 weeks ago | creators.yahoo.com | Andrew Knott

The children demolished our playground this week. It graced our backyard for nearly a decade and now it’s gone. All that’s left is empty space and a pile of rotting wood planks. The destruction was a collective effort. My two youngest kids participated while my middle schooler watched from the sidelines (in his VR headset). My kids didn’t act alone. They assembled one of the top demolition teams in the history of mankind.

3 weeks ago | creators.yahoo.com | Andrew Knott

The single most important thing I wish I had known before I won a giant yellow duck stuffed animal at a theme park’s basketball carnival game was just how exhausting it would be to carry that thing around all day. Not physically exhausting — the big guy was actually quite light and the early spring Florida weather was pleasant — but emotionally exhausting. The thing nobody tells you about carrying a humongous duck around a theme park is that you have to be “on” at all times.

3 weeks ago | medium.com | Andrew Knott

Member-only storyHumor | SatireDad: “We were robbed.”Andrew Knott·FollowPublished inFrazzled·3 min read·--image from CanvaFLORIDA — “We were robbed. Plain and simple. I don’t know how long it will take me to get over this,” a despondent Drew Watt lamented following his son’s team’s loss in the championship game of the Winter B Rec League Season at Future Stars Basketball Academy.

1 month ago | creators.yahoo.com | Andrew Knott

My daughter and I finally took our doll show on the road. It was (hopefully) a one-time-only show, so I am afraid you all missed it. I’m very sorry. But, in lieu of the real thing, allow me to paint the picture for you. A poorly dressed, undernourished, and over-caffeinated father slumps from the parking lot toward the playground carrying an assortment of cardboard boxes that appear to be loosely connected by black tape.

1 month ago | creators.yahoo.com | Andrew Knott

“Daddy! Come look! The moon looks like a banana!”My 5-year-old was very excited. Me? Not so much. It was just past seven in the morning, we’d been up since just after six, and we needed to get to school. The second training session of the elementary school running club was that morning, so we had to be at school even earlier than usual. School starts at a soul-suckingly early time every day, but I was willing to get moving before dawn because running club is that important.