Billy Masters

Columnist at Freelance

Comedian, columnist, host, bon vivant, raconteur

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Articles

Billy Masters 04.17.25

1 week ago | baywindows.com | Billy Masters

"What in the faggotry are you talking about?"—Gayle King quotes a Matteo Lane joke to his face. While many people have their panties in a bunch over Gayle's use of the word "faggotry", Matteo gets the last word. "I love you Gayle King". Détente. That was the word Patti LuPone used when she reunited with Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber at the 2018 Grammys. Maybe it's something about New York City, because another notable détente just took place there—this one between Sir Elton John and Madonna.
Billy Masters 03.20.25

1 month ago | baywindows.com | Billy Masters

"Thank you, Madame Chair." Representative Sarah McBride's response when the Chair for the House Foreign Affairs subcommittee, Keith Self, referred to her as "Representative from Delaware Mr. McBride." Sarah may have been willing to move on, but Rep. Bill Keating from Massachusetts interjected: "Mr. Chairman, have you no decency?" He added, "You will not continue it with me unless you introduce a duly elected representative the right way." With that, the hearing came to an end.
Billy Masters 03.06.25

1 month ago | baywindows.com | Billy Masters

"I am thrilled to accept the Razzie award in so many important categories for @megalopolisfilm, and for the distinctive honor of being nominated as the worst director, worst screenplay, and worst picture at a time when so few have the courage to go against the prevailing trends of contemporary moviemaking!"- Francis Ford Coppola begins his Razzie acceptance speech via Instagram. Of course, one can rebound from a Razzie. Pamela Anderson was named Razzie Redeemer for "The Last Showgirl".
Billy Masters 02.20.25

2 months ago | baywindows.com | Billy Masters

"I love @realDonaldTrump as much as a straight man can love another man." — Elon Musk. I believe he said that during "Bring Your Kid to Work Day."I'm more than a little annoyed at my beloved Google. They've caved to pressure from our new federal government and renamed the Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America. BUT (there's always a but), it will only be named that when you are in the United States. Anywhere else, it will continue to be called the Gulf of Mexico.
Billy Masters 02.06.25

2 months ago | baywindows.com | Billy Masters

"Seeing that video, it's hard to believe that it's actually genuine and real because she's an actress." - Criticism of Selena Gomez crying in a video about the mass deportation of illegal immigrants. Trust me, lady, she's not THAT good an actress. This week, I'm writing to you from sunny South Florida-Fort Lauderdale, to be precise. As I boarded the plane, a Facebook memory popped up from 2019.
Billy Masters 01.23.25

Jan 23, 2025 | baywindows.com | Billy Masters

"You're a lot more interesting than I thought."- Cher to Josh Brolin after he discussed his memoir on "The Graham Norton Show" in December. After Cher promoted her memoir, Josh said, "You remind me of my mom!" Before you ask, he meant his biological mom, not his stepmom who he refers to in the book as "a singer". You know her as Barbra Streisand. People like to bash the so-called Hollywood elite, but those privileged few know how to band together when the going gets tough.
Billy Masters 01.09.25

Jan 9, 2025 | baywindows.com | Billy Masters

"If any young people are watching, at a certain point in your life, you will become the people you used to make fun of. And that's what we've become."Anderson Cooper during his New Year's Eve telecast with Andy Cohen. I dunno how it took 29 years of columns and scores of Hallmark movies for me to finally recognize the truth in something I've said for years—you CAN'T have it all. People tell you that you can, but let me tell you the first truth of the New Year. Life is full of hard choices.
Billy Masters 11.28.24

Nov 27, 2024 | baywindows.com | Billy Masters

"Jimmy, I'm a black woman and a lesbian. How the hell do you think I'm doing?" - Wanda Sykes to Jimmy Kimmel when he asked her mood since the election. No sooner had Sarah McBride from Delaware made history as the first openly transgender member of the House of Representatives, than Speaker of the House Mike Johnson flexed his muscles.
Billy Masters 11.14.24

Nov 14, 2024 | baywindows.com | Billy Masters

"The clown car can't come into the White House at will."—Susie Wiles, President-elect Donald Trump's new Chief of Staff. "What if the clown is in the White House?"—Joy Behar, co-host of "The View". Sure, you're unhappy. I get it. As unhappy as you are, I guarantee you I can name someone even less happy—Melania! Did you see that woman on election night? "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!" Come to think of it, where has she been? With Ivanka? Or Shelly Miscavige?
Billy Masters 09.05.24

Sep 5, 2024 | baywindows.com | Billy Masters

"My heart is broken that I've lost my mother this past weekend. Sadly, in a tragic turn of events, my sister lost her life on the same day."—Mariah Carey notes the passing of her mother, singer Patricia. While it may be a tragic turn, Mimi does not say that the death of her estranged sister Alison—who has been HIV-positive since 1990—was particularly sad for her. After spending so much time overseas, I ended my summer with back-to-back excursions to Provincetown. Why didn't I just stay there?