Bret Kofford

El Centro, Imperial

Guest Columnist at Imperial Valley Press

Screenwriter, columnist, professor, husband, father, dog lover, traveler in life and basketball, reader, movie and music fanatic

Featured in: Favicon

ivpressonline.com

Articles

LIFE OUT HERE: I know what I’m doing

1 week ago | ivpressonline.com | Bret Kofford

On the old “Sledge Hammer!” television series, the lead character, a detective, would say, “Trust me. I know what I’m doing,” each time before he pulled his gun and put it under a suspect’s chin, heedlessly shot up a room, or created pointless violent havoc. Then someone else would have to figure out how the crime being investigated had occurred. Every now and again, Sledge, the lead character, would stumble onto an answer. “Sledge Hammer!” was on the ABC television network in the 1980s.
LIFE OUT HERE: Penguins, our enemy

2 weeks ago | ivpressonline.com | Bret Kofford

I don’t like penguins. Frankly, I think penguins are overrated. Many people find penguins amusing. I don’t get that. Some folks will watch two-hour documentary films about penguins being penguins. Now that’s weird. Me, I’m against penguins and long have been. First, penguins walk funny, and not funny on purpose like Charlie Chaplin, Pee-wee Herman and Ted Cruz.
LIFE OUT HERE: A horribly unqualified rooster

3 weeks ago | ivpressonline.com | Bret Kofford

Having spent years as a military reporter, I knew what Pete Hegseth was doing. “He’s lying with military semantics,” I told various people within a couple hours of Hegseth, our nation’s defense secretary, repeatedly claiming last week that he hadn’t released “war plans” in a private text chat on a publicly available app. The information became public because a reporter was inadvertently invited onto the text chain of high-ranking intelligence and military officials… and the vice president.
LIFE OUT HERE: We’re not the enemy

4 weeks ago | ivpressonline.com | Bret Kofford

“We need to attack the universities in this country,” J.D. Vance said during a speech a few years before he became vice president. “The professors are the enemy.”Vance’s mission is well underway. Universities are being attacked. Professors have been declared the enemy by many in this country. I guess I should be concerned. I am, in Vance’s eyes, the enemy, as I am and have long been a university teacher.
LIFE OUT HERE: Springing into hope

1 month ago | ivpressonline.com | Bret Kofford

“The promise of spring's arrival is enough to get anyone through the bitter winter! Nothing ever seems impossible in spring.” — Jen Selinsky, writer and poetIt was a tough winter for many in our land. Countless bad things happened. Threats were made and acted on, jobs were cut, savings and investments were ravaged. But it’s spring now, and in that renewal and revival many of us find hope.
LIFE OUT HERE: Danny, the writer

1 month ago | ivpressonline.com | Bret Kofford

The dude could write. That was the first conclusion I reached about Danny Edwards after he applied for a job at the Imperial Valley Press. For that reason, I, or maybe we, hired him as a reporter. I don’t remember if I was the top editor or the second in charge of the newsroom when we hired Danny. I do remember Danny walked in off the streets and applied for a job as a reporter.
LIFE OUT HERE: All about my manhood

1 month ago | ivpressonline.com | Bret Kofford

It’s not about the issues. It’s about how unmasculine I am. I almost never read, let alone respond to, the social media comments on columns I write. I figure I’ve had my say, others have had theirs, and no one wins a urinating match. Recently, though, a friend wrote to me to tell me that he had defended one of my columns on social media, and while I told him I didn’t need such defending, I decided to read his comments. I went to the social media site.
LIFE OUT HERE: Lies become truths

1 month ago | ivpressonline.com | Bret Kofford

“Repeat a lie often enough and it becomes the truth.”For example: “Ukraine was the aggressor in the war with Russia. Zelenskyy is a dictator.”Those previous two sentences are lies being spread in the last week by our leader. We all saw the truth on the news: Russia firing missiles into occupied schools, hospitals and apartment buildings to start the war, Russian fighters gunning down civilians on Ukrainians streets.
LIFE OUT HERE: Trump predictions

2 months ago | ivpressonline.com | Bret Kofford

Even someone who doesn’t like my politics or opinions recently told me that I’ve been pretty darn accurate over the last decade in predicting Donald Trump’s moves. I’m not bragging. OK, I am a little bit. But Trump’s a simple man and his imminent actions are eminently predictable. Trump said during the 2024 campaign that he knew nothing about Project 2025 and had no plans to follow its suggestions. I suggested that, if elected, he would follow those suggestions to a T as in Trump. Bingo.
LIFE OUT HERE: Luka a Laker?

2 months ago | ivpressonline.com | Bret Kofford

I’ve never quite hated the Lakers, but it’s been damn close. I don’t like the Tinseltown hype. I don’t like the celebs/wannabes sitting courtside looking at their cellphones instead of the court action. I don’t like the garish purple and yellow uniforms. I do believe the Lakers have had some great players: they had the elegance of Kareem’s game, the power of Shaq’s presence, the teamwork mastery of Magic, the skill and athleticism of West, the selflessness of Odom, the efficiency of Pau.