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the-peak.ca

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Peakie gets sexy

2 months ago | the-peak.ca | Petra Chase |C Icart

By: Petra Chase, Editor-in-Chief and C Icart, Humour EditorDear Peakie, Do you have the TLC people’s phone number (the network, not the girl group)? I was practicing the Megan Thee Stallion headboard challenge by myself so I’d be ready for Valentine’s Day, and what followed was actually the perfect story to reboot Sex Sent Me to the ER.
Horoscopes January 6-12

Jan 9, 2025 | the-peak.ca | C Icart

By: C Icart, Humour EditorAriesMarch 21–April 19 I was gossiping with the stars about you, and they said that you’re stubborn, so you’ll probably think you’re invincible all year. Close your damn incognito Google flights tab. The Boeings are falling apart! #StayGroundedTaurusApril 20–May 20Celeb lookalike contests were all the rage in 2024. No wonder the stars are warning you to look closely at all the pictures on Hinge.
Don’t play with Peakie

Oct 17, 2024 | the-peak.ca | C Icart

By: Cam Darting, Peak Associate and C Icart, Humour EditorDear Peakie, We have officially begun the season where SFU Burnaby gets permanently enveloped in a deep fog. I’ve been told this is just the clouds, but are you sure it’s not SFU spending all our tuition money on hidden fog machines? Sincerely, Is it a conspiracy if it’s true? Dear Is it a conspiracy if it’s true?,That is an amazing question, one I cannot answer.
The sweet potato in cupboard is my inspiration

Oct 6, 2024 | the-peak.ca | C Icart

By: C Icart, Humour EditorThey say you shouldn’t meet your heroes, but some of us didn’t have a choice. Some of us met our heroes way before they became our heroes. We met them at the grocery store in the produce aisle. They were chilling with all the other sweet potatoes, and taking a sweet potato home is a pretty normal thing to do when you’re at the grocery store.
If the CRA really wanted my money, they’d pick up when I call

Sep 18, 2024 | the-peak.ca | C Icart

By: C Icart, Humour EditorIt’s not tax season, but I would like to talk about taxes anyway. After all, this is my section; I can write about whatever I want (oop, our editor-in-chief has just informed me that is not the case). So today, I want to talk about the Canada Revenue Agency, aka the CRA, aka the Can’t Run away from our Audits. If an auditor is reading this right now, I would like to preface this whole thing by saying I love the CRA, I love paying money to the CRA, and I love taxes.
The fall of BC United has British Columbians everywhere whispering, “Wait, which party is that again?”

Sep 16, 2024 | the-peak.ca | C Icart

By: C Icart, Humour EditorBC election day is coming! Sure, our provincial election campaign news doesn’t have assassination attempts, coconut tree x brat remixes, and unexpected drag throwback pics, but that doesn’t mean it’s not exciting. For example, BC United has dropped out of the race. Isn’t that wild? Oh, you don’t know what BC United is . . . The only Canadian politicians you know are named Justin Trudeau, Pierre P-something, and Stephen Harper . . .
Peakie gets sporty

Aug 2, 2024 | the-peak.ca | C Icart

By: Cam Darting, Peak Associate and C Icart, Humour EditorDear Peakie, As you know, July is Disability Pride Month. So, obviously, we want to do something in solidarity with disabled people across the province. To observe this month, we’ve actually committed to the growth of the disability community.
Imperfect fits: Pride edition

Jul 31, 2024 | the-peak.ca | C Icart

By: C Icart, Humour EditorVancouver is hosting Pride this week, and even though “we are all born naked,” that is not the appropriate outfit for the occasion. So, you could make endless Pinterest boards until you develop the perfect Pride look. Or, you could just wrap yourself in a Pride flag and call it a day. You could even use an app inspired by Cher Horowitz’s digital outfit generator in Clueless. But I’m fully embodying the today by only existing to tell you what to wear.
ATTENTION: Public health officials report alarming levels of white victimhood in local wastewater

Jul 23, 2024 | the-peak.ca | C Icart

By: C Icart, Humour EditorThere’s a segment of the population that is experiencing great hardship and oppression, and it’s our duty as members of a society to acknowledge them. It’s the folks who feel left out because there’s a certain word in Kendrick Lamar’s “Not Like Us” they can’t say. Those who are sad they don’t have a history month. The people who are tired of coming in dead last in the Oppression Olympics.
Why do we live in a world where the only reward for hydrating is a large amount of piss?

Jul 17, 2024 | the-peak.ca | C Icart

By: C Icart, Humour EditorCalling all members of the overhydration nation! Why did you recruit me? I can’t live like this anymore; I have things to do other than constantly running to the bathroom. There is such a thing as performative hydration, and I’m calling it out today. There are THREE main ways this doctrine manifests online (which is the same as everyday life, duh). WaterTokThis phenomenon taught us there is no consensus over what is and is not water.