Chris Seaton

1 week ago | blog.simplejustice.us | Chris Seaton |Scott Greenfield

Prefatory Note: Happy Weekend before Easter everyone! You might figure out from the context clues what I’m planning to do this weekend.—CLSSheriff Roy Templeton leaned back in his creaky office chair, sipping coffee that tasted like it’d been brewed in a tractor engine. It was Good Friday in Mud Lick, Alabama, and the town was buzzing with anticipation for the annual Easter egg hunt.

2 weeks ago | blog.simplejustice.us | Chris Seaton |Scott Greenfield

A RELATIVELY SHORT TIME AGO IN A PLACE NOT TOO FAR AWAY—It was December 8, 1982, and the Grassy Knoll Pub in Driftwood County was buzzing like a hive of slightly drunk bees. The premiere of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial was happening that night in some fancy theater a few towns over, but Cassidy, the perpetually soused Irish doorman, didn’t give a rat’s arse about Spielberg or his wrinkly little alien.

1 month ago | blog.simplejustice.us | Chris Seaton |Scott Greenfield

Prefatory Note: To close out the month of February I’m pleased to share with all of you a pilot for a TV sitcom I recently wrote. It’s based off a Friday Funny post that was kind of a weird fever-dream sort of thing during the pandemic and I’m honestly not even sure if it’s on the website anymore (SHG does the post title here ring a bell? Just curious.)[Ed. Note: It’s here.]. Anyway I wanted to bring Glen the Grocery Store Greeter to the modern era and try to make him funny today.

2 months ago | blog.simplejustice.us | Chris Seaton |Scott Greenfield

Friends, it’s February 20, 2025, and I’m officially declaring war on snow. Yes, that fluffy white bastard that turns Knoxville into a scene from The Shining minus the charm of Jack Nicholson chasing me with an axe. I’ve had it. Done. Finito. If I see one more snowflake drift down like it’s auditioning for a Hallmark movie, I’m going to lose what’s left of my mind, and trust me, there ain’t much left after the Girl Scout cookie season gauntlet. Let’s set the stage.