Deborah Welky
Columnist, The Sonic Boomer at Wellington Town Crier
Deborah Welky, The Sonic Boomer, is a humor columnist with a weekly newspaper-based column.
Articles
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1 week ago |
gotowncrier.com | Deborah Welky
The Sonic BOOMERThis morning I got to thinking of all the things that progress has cost us. It’s not that I mind progress (usually), it’s just that sometimes things are gone before we know it — replaced by easier, faster, more modern things. Then, one day, we look up and wonder, “Where did that go?”When I was a kid, we went to “the farm” every summer.
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3 weeks ago |
gotowncrier.com | Deborah Welky
The Sonic BOOMERI don’t think that parents in their 30s and 40s realize how imperative it is to keep their kids’ grandparents in the loop. It’s not just that we like seeing the kids, it’s that we need their interaction to keep from being sucked into the mindless oblivion of boring and routine. For instance, without my grandchildren, I would have no idea how to use the word “cringe.” Cringe used to be a verb. Now, it’s a noun. For instance, an ugly car is cringe.
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1 month ago |
gotowncrier.com | Deborah Welky
The Sonic BOOMERMarch has been a heck of a month! They say it either comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb — or the reverse. It came in like a lamb, so now I’m trembling in my boots. The first week, I was in Wisconsin, relocating my mother to a memory care center. Everything moves slowly with mom, like those dreams you have where something is chasing you but you can’t run very fast, like you’re a stapler inside a Jell-O mold. I eventually adapted.
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1 month ago |
gotowncrier.com | Deborah Welky
The Sonic BOOMERI got a call that my mother was in the hospital, so I raced up to Wisconsin to check on her and, of course, to try to get the whole story. Our family is very big on stories. Evidently, when the nurse at the assisted living facility came to mom’s apartment to wake her up and give her her morning pills, mom was not in bed. Because mom’s an early riser, the nurse thought she may have gone downstairs, so she turned to leave.
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2 months ago |
gotowncrier.com | Deborah Welky
The Sonic BOOMERI think we can all agree that January and February in South Florida are quite pleasant. As snow and ice blanket the northern states, Floridians strike the word “humidity” from their vocabularies and, instead, use other words to curse the voluminous influx of snowbird traffic. It’s not the snowbirds’ fault. They saw the postcards — sent by us!They watched the TV ads — paid for by Florida tourism councils. They listened as we bragged to them on the phone. So they came on down.
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How to Please a Teenager: When buying them clothes, buy black. Movie passes are better.
Telling me that “so much in education is quantitatively unmeasurable” tells me one thing: you got another bad report card.
My mother told me “the eyes are the window to the soul.” I found it difficult to meet anyone’s eyes after that. My soul is my business.