Devorah Blachor

Luxembourg

Writer and Editor at Freelance

Author of the Feminist's Guide to Raising a Little Princess https://t.co/jL5Zt0GU44

Articles

I’m the Private Messaging App Signal, and the Trump Administration Is Ruining My Brand

1 week ago | mcsweeneys.net | Devorah Blachor

“The unofficial version of Signal used by Donald Trump’s former National Security Adviser Mike Waltz has been hacked.” — Reuters- - -Want to hear something interesting? If you’re a messaging app trying to market yourself as the “gold standard of private communications," the last thing you want is to be in the news every day because some Fox News host is too dumb to understand how privacy works.
Let’s Save Western Civilization by Being Cruel Motherfuckers

2 months ago | mcsweeneys.net | Devorah Blachor

“The fundamental weakness of Western civilization is empathy… ” — Elon Musk- - -I see Musk’s point. Empathy is destroying Western civilization, which is why it’s good that he and DOGE got rid of all those USAID programs around the world. Fending off starvation in Ethiopia and providing clean water in Colombia was completely crippling Western civilization, taking away precious funds we should be using to buy crypto.
Government Welfare Is Evil, Unless the Money Goes to the Wealthiest Man in the World

Feb 13, 2025 | mcsweeneys.net | Devorah Blachor

“The Trump administration is expected to purchase $400 million worth of armored Tesla vehicles, according to a new State Department document detailing procurement for fiscal year 2025”— NPR- - -How lucky are we ordinary Americans to be living in the Age of Trump? Our president is sticking it to the globalist elites by giving the world’s wealthiest man a huge government contract. What a far cry from the days of Democrat corruption.
Template for Trump Supporters Outraged over Hunter Biden’s Pardon

Dec 2, 2024 | mcsweeneys.net | Devorah Blachor

“President Biden issued a full and unconditional pardon of his son Hunter on Sunday night after repeatedly insisting he would not do so, using the power of his office to wave aside years of legal troubles, including a federal conviction for illegally buying a gun and for tax evasion.” — New York Times- - -Unbelievable! President Biden has pardoned his son, Hunter Biden, the worst criminal to ever walk the face of the earth. Whatever happened to law and order in this country?
Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches

Nov 1, 2024 | mcsweeneys.net | Devorah Blachor

“Former President Trump is sowing doubt about the election results in Pennsylvania less than one week before Election Day, making explosive and misleading claims about fraud.” — The Hill- - -This election [WILL BE / IS / WAS] rigged! They have illegally stolen this election from me by using [MAIL-IN BALLOTS / EARLY VOTING / DOMINION MACHINES / THE BASIC MATHEMATIC PRINCIPLE OF COUNTING VOTES]. It’s so obvious that Democrats are stealing the election.
As A Billionaire, I’m Really Enjoying This Citizens United Election!

Oct 28, 2024 | devorah.medium.com | Devorah Blachor

I love this election so much, I’m going to buy it!Devorah Blachor·Follow3 min read·--Huzzah! The election is a week away, and I gotta tell you, I’m enjoying it tremendously. I’ve been funneling $95 million here, $165 million there, and giving all of it to the fellow who’s going to lower my taxes even more, Donald Trump. And I have Citizens United to thank — so great job, Anthony Kennedy. Truly this is American democracy at its best.
I Am a Lady, and Donald Trump Is My Protector

Sep 25, 2024 | mcsweeneys.net | Devorah Blachor

“You’re not going to be in danger any longer. You will no longer have anxiety from all of the problems our country has today. You will be protected, and I will be your protector. Women will be happy, healthy, confident, and free.”— Donald Trump addressing women at a rally in Pennsylvania. - - -It’s hard to be a lady these days. There are so many things to be afraid of, like not having a husband, or getting scratched by my cats, or walking in the woods and seeing a bear .
Will Someone Please Help Me Slander Kamala Harris in a Way That Sticks?

Aug 28, 2024 | mcsweeneys.net | Devorah Blachor

“The good news keeps coming for Vice President Harris. She has now not only made up ground in public polls in the swing states in her campaign for president, but has now actually taken narrow leads in three critical states that would put her at just enough electoral votes to win the White House, according to polling averages.” — NPR- - -I have one job, which is to convince Americans that Kamala Harris is a lying, Antifa-loving child trafficker who drinks baby blood.
“Why I Am Still Voting for Donald Trump” Mad Libs

May 31, 2024 | mcsweeneys.net | Devorah Blachor

The worst has happened. Donald Trump is a convicted felon, and it’s all because he [FALSIFIED BUSINESS RECORDS / HID THE TRUTH FROM THE AMERICAN PEOPLE / HAD A HORRIBLE SEXUAL ENCOUNTER WITH STORMY DANIELS WHILE HIS WIFE MELANIA WAS PREGNANT WITH THE BABY THEY EVENTUALLY NAMED AFTER TRUMP’S FICTIONAL SPOKESPERSON, JOHN BARRON].
Two Jews Walk Into a Bar

May 7, 2024 | tabletmag.com | Devorah Blachor

When Adam Shor told his father—the son of a Holocaust survivor—about Two Jews, his comedy act in Berlin, his father said they should change the name. He believed that it was better for Jews to keep quiet about their identity. “I’d say, ‘Come on, what the fuck are you talking about?’” Shor said, “it’s over.” Shor was trying to reassure his father not to worry about antisemitism anymore. But in the wake of the Oct.