Gary Legum

4 days ago | wonkette.com | Gary Legum

Nazi Howdy Doody doll Stew Peters has found himself a new creative endeavor. Having conquered filmmaking with a documentary claiming that COVID was caused by snake venom the Vatican slipped into the world’s water supplies as part of a plot to make sure everyone has some of Satan’s DNA in them, he is now taking on the world of letters by writing a children’s book. And it looks like quite the barn-burner. Or cross-burner, to be more precise. The book is titled — are you ready for this?

4 days ago | wonkette.com | Gary Legum

Stop us if you’ve heard this one before. The United States launches an unjustified attack on a foreign nation with a majority-Muslim population. And no matter whether the attack achieves whatever its goals are or not, the federal government warns the public that there might be revenge attacks by sleeper cells living quiet lives running bodegas in New York or something.

5 days ago | wonkette.com | Gary Legum

Boy, did Senator Mike Lee (R-UT) have himself a week last week. First, the Svengali of Salt Lake, the Pope of Provo, the whatever of whatever other cities are in Utah, endeared himself to his Democratic colleagues in the Senate by mocking the absolute shit out of the assassination of the Democratic state speaker in Minnesota and her husband, and the attempted assassination and severe wounding of a Democratic state senator and his wife. If you are a subscriber, ignore this.

1 week ago | wonkette.com | Gary Legum

Sports! Sports sports sports sports sports! Is there any part of American life and culture that the Trump administration can’t hurt with its pettiness and malevolence? When it comes to pettiness and malevolence, MAGA holds all the gold medals!On Thursday, officers from some unidentified agency under the Department of Homeland Security decided to fuck with baseball, the sport so often described as being as American as apple pie.

1 week ago | wonkette.com | Gary Legum

Thank you, Representative Comer. And thank you, distinguished members of the House Oversight Committee, for giving me the opportunity to tell my story. I come before you today humbled by the awesome responsibilities of my role in history. And I come before you today eager to tell my story, to tell my truth, about my four years of service in Joe Biden’s administration. I am Joe Biden’s autopen, and everything you have been saying about me is true.