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6 days ago | 
wonkette.com | Gary Legum
South Africa is a nation of a little over 63 million people, and we are so, so proud that our own nation, the United States of America, can ease the suffering of 54 of the white ones. God bless the USA! And other Lee Greenwood lyrics. Yes, that’s 54 with no zeroes.
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1 week ago | 
wonkette.com | Gary Legum
Now here is something you don’t see very often: an appointee of the Trump administration who seems to have had somewhat relevant experience that qualified him to oversee the agency he was appointed to lead on an acting basis. Not only that, but he also seemed to believe at least somewhat in the agency’s mission.
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1 week ago | 
wonkette.com | Gary Legum
It is easy to forget in the biblical flood of stupid that has made each day of the last 107 days feel longer than watching one of those avant garde movies that’s just like eight hours of a slow zoom in on a lamp.
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1 week ago | 
wonkette.com | Gary Legum
Has this ever happened to you? It’s a Sunday night, you’re sitting on the couch dreading the upcoming week at the tail end of American democracy, wondering what insane surprises — selling Puerto Rico to the Emiratis, nuking the moon, etc. — our government of, by, and for giggling teenage Nazi eugenicists has in store for us. And then BAM! The boiled sausage casing inhabiting the White House announces he wants to reopen the federal prison on Alcatraz.
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1 week ago | 
wonkette.com | Gary Legum
Welcome to your teacher training for the 2025-’26 school year, fellow Oklahomans! Or should I say Oklahomo-ans if you are one of the members of our gay community. Also, being gay is now illegal in Oklahoma*, so consider yourselves fired. Please exit the room and the state in an orderly fashion with no swishing. Okay, for those of you who are left, let’s get down to business! As you know, our state education department has instituted some very exciting curriculum changes for this upcoming year.
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2 weeks ago | 
wonkette.com | Gary Legum
Remember how back during Donald Trump’s first term, our Orange King wanted a giant military parade through the streets of Washington DC? It was a big deal at the time. America’s own bargain basement Caligula has never met a spectacle he couldn’t make bigger and tackier. Plus his insecurity about his manhood pushes him to overcompensate in every possible way.
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2 weeks ago | 
wonkette.com | Gary Legum
The Defense Department of the United States is the largest bureaucracy in the world, with somewhere in the neighborhood of 3 million employees. That number includes about 1.4 million uniformed military personnel and close to 800,000 National Guard troops and reservists. The DoD oversees several intelligence agencies. It is responsible for the development, building, operation, and maintenance of some of the most destructive weapons platforms ever created by man.
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2 weeks ago | 
wonkette.com | Gary Legum
Let us hold a moment of silence for the poor White House employee who was on presidential diaper duty early Monday morning when Donald Trump, after presumably stewing over a slew of negative polls showing that he’s less popular than liver cancer, let off a nuclear blast of a stinker. And boy, are those polls bad. Large majorities of voters, unsurprisingly, loathe much of what Trump has done since his inauguration. A CNN poll has his approval at 41 percent.
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2 weeks ago | 
wonkette.com | Gary Legum
What a long and terrible fall from grace it has been for famed inventor and three-time Wimbledon champion George Santos. The not-even-one-full-term former New York congressman was sentenced on Friday to serve 87 months, or seven years and three months for the math-challenged, in federal prison. As a prisoner, not the warden, despite qualifications for that job that include being the former Attorney General in nine different states.
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3 weeks ago | 
wonkette.com | Gary Legum
Tulsi Gabbard, the turnip-brained Gidget clone ironically serving as America’s Director of National Intelligence, has a problem. Her boss, Donald Trump, needs a legal justification for rounding up undocumented Venezuelan immigrants and sending them to an El Salvadoran gulag so that America can inch closer towards being the white nation he and the neo-Confederates in his administration want it to be.
