Jayme Deerwester

After the dog woke me up at 4:30, I couldn’t fall asleep so I watched the #MyNextGuest interview with #DaveChappelle. Now all this native Ohioan can think about is how long it’s been since I had @youngsdairy.

I washed my car tonight and before I knew it, I had gone full @MrJamesMay - DA polisher, German saddle soap on the leather, air compressor on the nooks and crannies - all of it. And now I look like he did after traversing the rainforest. https://t.co/PFYsDY3H2N

Had to order a new pair of @SpeedoUSA Vanquishers so I can work out in the backyard pool during quarantine. But after @VWOfficial’s turn on #DragRace, I’ll be calling them Vanquishas from now on. https://t.co/N2eiWpXA92

Snapped this after cleaning my Speedy today. Looks like all the females in my family love bags, even the hound. @purseblog https://t.co/FG0FgiBl9k

How I knew it was time to leave the office tonight: when I thought I heard Adam Schiff say, “I recognize Zuul.” OK, I didn’t actually leave for a few more hours but that was definitely a sign. (And I’m betting her line of questioning would be ... intense. ) #ImpeachmentHearings https://t.co/Tqx1QPa3QK

Please tell me someone taped @OddlyYvie ‘s dad watching #DragRace with his motorcycle club and VH1 bought the rights to that shit. It could be better than the #SNL skit. https://t.co/rypbwZSkV0

I worked at Lake McDonald in 1991 and began my weekly open water swims from this exact spot. I used to say I need to go back while the glaciers are still there. Now I think I need to go back while the HOTEL is still there. Don’t want it to go the way of Sperry Chalet.

William Green @williamfgreen

Amazing video I took of the fire from the beach at Lake McDonald Lodge right before it was evacuated. #HoweRidgeFire @KCFW9 @GlacierNPS https://t.co/N2RuMsoTcC

.@usatodaylife was backstage at the #FamiliesBelongTogther rally with @Lin_Manuel , @aliciakeys and @AmericaFerrera before Miranda went onstage to sing the #Hamilton lullaby ‘Dear Theodosia’ for all the parents “who can’t sing their kids to sleep tonight.” https://t.co/D1mvloboGH

We are backstage at #FamiliesBelongTogether with @Lin_Manuel, Alicia Keys and America Ferrera. https://t.co/Jd1xxRcwI1

Merci pour votre réponse rapide. J'espère que ma message n'a pas été trop horrible. Mes compétences Françaises sont rouillées! https://t.co/8PK5Hq3qE1

Procureur de Colmar @ProcureurColmar

@jaymedeerwester Bonsoir, Je confirme cette information Cordialement @ProcureurColmar

Dear @michellevisage: I feel a new kinship with you after learning you were a swimmer. Dolly Partons of the swim world, unite. Also, I found your old training fins. #DragRace #VultureFestival https://t.co/xDoTYvVHmJ

OK, after the Sergei Skripal attack, I'm gonna @RedSparrowMovie author Jason Matthews to reassure me that Sergey Matorin and Sgt. Blokin are really dead — and fictional. https://t.co/RiTk1JS0Tj

Can’t speak for other American viewers of #TheGrandTour but my naan-thieving beagle with the inexplicable fondness for Indian food (seriously, you can’t eat butter chicken in peace around her) can totally relate to @MrJamesMay’s car-curry performance index.

Here's what DID make it into this year's #grandtour story: https://t.co/tIZFH8ZpQ1

During both of my @thegrandtour interviews, @mrjamesmay has said something we’ll call “too James May for USA TODAY": Quintessentially Captain Slow and endearing to fans (including me) but so British I didn't even try to get it by my editor. This year's selection: https://t.co/vRaIbPRxsj

Dear @SouthPark: If the last week has shown us anything, it's that the world needs Sexual Harassment Panda back. https://t.co/rXohkqbiDB

Dear @Barbour: Please make a @SamHeughan jacket-waxing tutorial video ASAP. That would be glorious. Thnx, Girl w/ >12 jackets in her family.