Jeremy Clarkson

Adolescence. The camera at the end of show 2. How on earth did they do that? It’s impossible.

F1 drivers: If you want to learn how to reverse off road, give me a call. It certainly helped @OscarPiastri today

A great old friend of mine, Nick Love, has made a movie starring Danny Dyer. It’s called “Marching Powder” and it’s like Mamma Mia apart from in every single detail. I loved it and I hope you do too.

Let me write this for the online “news” services. Jeremy Clarkson broke his silence today and denied he’s hosting a motoring show”.

Hats off to @BBCCountryfile for that report on post Brexit food and plant checks at U.K. ports. Jesus. Scary stuff.

I’ve never been able decide which is my favourite film: Butch Cassidy or Local Hero. But I think it might be Slumdog Millionaire

Stephen Fry is on Who Wants to be a Millionaire this evening. It’s worth a watch. ITV. 8pm.

https://t.co/W3iITiGRHm

I’m confused. Gary Lineker was told he couldn’t appear on the BBC if he was going to have opinions. But here I am, watching Packham on Winterwatch.

There are reports in some of the sillier newspapers that the enormous pork pie is for sale at the Farmer’s Dog for £200. You’re welcome to buy it for that, but I wouldn’t recommend eating it. As it’s not made of food.

Farmers. Contrary to reports, I did NOT buy a Deutz Fahr tractor at LAMMA. I came away with a better idea.

While it’s true that the farm shop at Diddly Squat is closed as usual until March, the farm shop at the Farmer’s Dog is very much open. Every day apart from Mondays and Tuesdays. You can grab a burger too and a pint.

‘Labour’s tax raid is the worst crisis I’ve seen in farming’ https://t.co/Uqry6OcZ0V

And turning now to football and this alphabet business. Arsenal surely begins with a W.

That’s an absurd penalty for @LandoNorris

Brilliant work from Alpine in Brazil today. Fantastic result for the Chipping Norton people.

Farmers. I know that you have been shafted today. But please don’t despair. Just look after yourselves for five short years and this shower will be gone.