Joe Queenan

1 week ago | wsj.com | Joe Queenan

For the longest time I believed that you should always stay on the highway during a traffic jam because taking alternate routes would simply slow you down. The conventional wisdom stipulated that the shortest route between two points was the route you were already on, so you should just grin and bear it. Resist the temptation to leave the highway because you’ll either get lost or you’ll end up in yet another traffic jam caused by all the other drivers who allowed GPS to redirect them.

1 month ago | wsj.com | Joe Queenan

Don’t let them vanish! They may be the one thing left that unites us. Once upon a time there was an old-fashioned diner-style restaurant in my town, and I frequented it for decades. A sizable group of us even had a breakfast club there, convening every morning to discuss ways the world could be improved. After my kids grew up and moved away, the first thing they wanted to do each time they came home was have pancakes in the mythical establishment they had cherished since they were toddlers.

2 months ago | wsj.com | Joe Queenan

Instead, I get to sit back and watch my New York neighbors fret over their team’s chance of winning it all, something last achieved when Richard Nixon was in office. My friends who root for the Knicks know they can’t beat the Celtics, and my friends who root for the Bucks know they can’t beat anybody. My friends in Los Angeles are not terribly sanguine that LeBron James can get another ring, and my friends in San Francisco feel the same about Steph Curry and his gallant but outgunned Warriors.

2 months ago | wsj.com | Joe Queenan

If I’m expected to enjoy a lacrosse team’s ‘comedy night,’ the system has gone kerflooeyI love algorithms. I have always relied on them to keep me apprised of products, events and services to improve my life. Algorithms alerted me to the superb walking shoes that helped cure my tendinitis and let me know that the Rolling Stones would be playing in Denver while I visited last June. I have algorithms to thank for many books I read, plays I attend and the foods that I eat.

Mar 14, 2025 | wsj.com | Joe Queenan

This year, for the first time in decades, I decided to observe Lent. I was raised Catholic—I was even in the seminary for a year—but the fasting idea came about mostly because I’d been slamming away far too much dessert lately. The deal I made with myself was: No sweets for 40 days. No cookies. No candy. No ice cream. None. Things went well on Ash Wednesday. The closest I got to a bona fide sweetstuff was a banana—and fruit lies outside the purview of the Lenten bailiwick.