John Crace

2 weeks ago | theguardian.com | John Crace

Suddenly it all became clear. Why Kemi Badenoch was out and about giving interviews for the second day running, looking and sounding as if she wasn’t completely fed up. With a smile that could have passed for genuine. This wasn’t the Tory leader we had come to know and to whom we had become largely indifferent. Kemi had been punching the air as the Canadian election results came in. It was all beyond her wildest dreams.

2 weeks ago | theguardian.com | John Crace

Even Kemi Badenoch’s closest friends know to give her a wide berth in the mornings. Especially her closest friends. They know what’s good for them. Sometimes absence is an act of friendship. Intimacy by proxy. Mornings are when Kemi is at her worst. Up at 6.30am, checking her phone for the latest culture war. Six double espressos. Then she’s ready to get out of bed. Anyone who crosses her path gets swatted away. Don’t even think of offering her a granola bar. An hour of bog standard policing to follow.

3 weeks ago | theguardian.com | John Crace

With two opinion polls giving the Reform party a clear lead over Labour and the Conservatives, it may be time to start thinking about some practicalities. Like just who will be doing what job in a Reform-led government? It can probably be taken it as read that Nigel Farage will be prime minister, but that leaves three MPs – make that two, as James McMurdock isn’t trusted enough by his colleagues to be allowed out in public – to fill the remaining 20-plus cabinet posts.

3 weeks ago | theguardian.com | John Crace

You could see this one coming from a long way off. On the day after the International Monetary Fund has just lowered its growth forecast for the UK by 0.5%. On the day when it was announced that UK government borrowing was £15bn more than expected. On the day when the US wandered out of the latest efforts to end the war in Ukraine. Yup, you’ve guessed it. Kemi Badenoch wasn’t interested in any of this. Yawn. Boring. Who really cares if the economy is in trouble or that the world is in crisis?

3 weeks ago | theguardian.com | John Crace

What do Liz Truss and JD Vance have against elderly people? Specifically, those who are kind, decent and compassionate. Take Radon Liz. In September 2022 she made a fleeting visit to Balmoral to be sworn in as prime minister by the queen. The last picture that was taken of Queen Elizabeth was of her standing in front of a fireplace next to Truss. You can’t escape the desperation in her eyes. Please, please, she seems to be pleading, get me away from her. Just put yourself in the queen’s shoes.