John Summers

1 week ago | cheezburger.com | John Summers

It’s hard to explain to anyone who grew up in the streaming age, but back then, the movie was only half the experience. The other half? Commentary tracks from directors, actors, even stunt coordinators. Bloopers that revealed just how much fun the cast had. Deleted scenes with optional commentary. Production diaries, animatics, wardrobe tests, prop builds. All of it tucked away on a second disc like cinematic treasure. And no movie ever did this better than The Lord of the Rings extended editions.

1 week ago | cheezburger.com | John Summers

Look, I love The Lord of the Rings as much as the next person who can recite "The world has changed" before their coffee kicks in. The movies are masterpieces. The memes? Even better. But while we're here laughing at hobbits and second breakfast and Legolas defying the laws of physics, I need to say something I've been holding in for years: justice for Gimli.

2 weeks ago | cheezburger.com | John Summers

Remember that overdramatic anti-piracy ad from the early 2000s that told us, in no uncertain terms, that downloading Shrek 2 is basically the same as breaking and entering? You know the one: "You wouldn't steal a car… You wouldn't steal a handbag…" etc., etc., cue dramatic techno and a montage of crime-doing? Well. It turns out that the ad itself may have been—brace yourself—a little pirated. Specifically, the font. Yes, the font.

2 weeks ago | cheezburger.com | John Summers

Let's get one thing straight—I never understood the hate for Alien ³. Sure, the effects were a little wonky, and the studio interference was a whole saga, but the story? Incredible. The tension? Palpable. And that ending? One of the most powerful sendoffs in sci-fi history. As far as I'm concerned, Alien is a trilogy. Everything after that final shot of Ripley free falling while hugging the Xenomorph didn't happen.

2 months ago | newsroom.co.nz | John Summers

For five years, I lived in the Wairarapa, that valley of highway and parched grass. I say lived but most of my waking hours were spent elsewhere. On weekdays, I rose before sunup and hurried to catch a train to Wellington. Like someone in a John Cheever story, I owned a second car solely for driving to the station. It was evening when I returned. The train was as much a part of my experience as anything of the region.