Josh Lieb

5 days ago | joshlieb.substack.com | Josh Lieb

The office of FREE ONLINE SOLITAIRE DOT COM. A visitor goggles at a group of employees who dress like mercenaries, carry big guns etc (even as they sit casually at their cubicles). The Boss explains: “Yeah, we’re a free service, but if anyone plays too much we send a death squad to mercy kill them.”There is nothing more pointless than solitaire. Behold — Edd Turner and one oh four eight:This is an old-school, hand drawn Edd and I like it a lot. The friend looks like Milhouse, right?

1 week ago | joshlieb.substack.com | Josh Lieb

NEW SYNDROMESEverybody knows about “Stockholm Syndrome,” when a kidnapping victim perversely starts to identify with – and even root for – their captor. But that’s just the tip of the syndrome iceberg. Take a look below and take “stock” of yourself; could this be you? STOCKHOLM SYNDROME: Victim, against all logic, identifies with their captor. SPOCKHOLM SYNDROME: Victim identifies with their captor, but this time it’s logical. STOCK HO HO HOLM SYNDROME: Victim identifies with Santa Claus.

1 week ago | joshlieb.substack.com | Josh Lieb

A new hire is being led through an office by the Boss. The office is full of sad employees sitting in sterile cubicles, except in one corner, where everyone is dancing and laughing and playing music and making out, etc. The new hire goggles. The Boss explains, without breaking stride: “That’s the Gather ye rosebuds while ye may department.”I had a hard time cracking this joke.

1 week ago | joshlieb.substack.com | Josh Lieb

One food scientist shows a new product to another: “It’s a tofu substitute made from meat. We call it ‘Turnabout.’”The Drink Savant is still working his way through the archives. Here he is with three eight nine:This is a darn good joke. It’s a “harder” joke than I usually do these days; I’ve gotten softer in my old age. TDS’s style works especially well with this joke. The instant clarity of stick figures in a prison is all we need to know. Good facial expression on the speaker.

1 week ago | joshlieb.substack.com | Josh Lieb

Alien spaceships blast the wreckage of Earth with laser beams, as human survivors hide behind the rubble. A mother grimly explains to her children: “The aliens arrived… they offered friendship, technology, amazing medical advances… and then ‘Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me” came on the radio…”I’m afraid my many foreign readers won’t know how detestable “Wait, Wait” is. Well, they’re the lucky ones. I agree with the aliens; the only way to be sure is to nuke it from space.