Josh Lieb

New York

Writer at Substack

Writer https://t.co/r2csapKOBh "Chapter Two is Missing!" "Ratscalibur" "I Am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to Be Your Class President"

Featured in: Favicon

substack.com Favicon

nytimes.com Favicon

newyorker.com Favicon

publishersweekly.com Favicon

decine21.com Favicon

kirkusreviews.com Favicon

cineol.net Favicon

newyorkfamily.com + 1 more

Articles

Cartoon One Oh Three Six

1 week ago | joshlieb.substack.com | Josh Lieb

A golf green. A golfer has just punched two Humphrey Bogarts in trenchcoats. The announcer exclaims: “Oh no! She’s hit a Double Bogey!”I am absolutely ashamed of this joke. My only excuse is that I’m traveling. Please bear with me — posting will be sporadic this week. Check out my “Shouts and Murmurs” in this week’s New Yorker. It’s online now but I think the magazine version comes out Thursday.
The New Yorker Ain't What It Used to Be

1 week ago | prawfsblawg.blogs.com | Josh Lieb

1. PUMPERNICKEL: The king. Strong flavor, but not too strong. Dances with, rather than fights against, the cream cheese and the lox. (Or whitefish, if that’s your thing. I don’t judge.)2. PLAIN: Not as fierce a “dancer.” More submissive to the lox. Kind of kinky. Maybe you like that. 4. EGG: Too cakelike to be a proper bagel, but possibly it reminds you of the challah your nana hand-fed you when she nursed you through polio. 5. SALT: You’re someone who really likes salt. 6.
Bagels, Ranked

1 week ago | newyorker.com | Josh Lieb

1. PUMPERNICKEL: The king. Strong flavor, but not too strong. Dances with, rather than fights against, the cream cheese and the lox. (Or whitefish, if that’s your thing. I don’t judge.)2. PLAIN: Not as fierce a “dancer.” More submissive to the lox. Kind of kinky. Maybe you like that. 3. POPPY-SEED/SESAME: When they’re out of plain. 4. EGG: Too cakelike to be a proper bagel, but possibly it reminds you of the challah your nana hand-fed you when she nursed you through polio. 5.
Cartoon One Oh Three Five

1 week ago | joshlieb.substack.com | Josh Lieb

Two friends arguing over the bill at a restaurant. One protests: “I’m not cheap, Im poor!”Oddly enough, most people would rather be considered cheap than poor, even though only one of them is shameful. Here’s The Drink Savant, ending the week with a nine three six:Simple. Clean. Tells the story. I like it. Thanks, TDS. The rest of you: get busy! If it wasn't for Edd and TDS this week, the cupboard would’ve been bare.
Cartoon One Oh Three Four

2 weeks ago | joshlieb.substack.com | Josh Lieb

Aliens have landed. Scientist Aliens are taking blood samples from humans and shaking their heads. The Alien Leader addresses a human crowd: “We were planning to eat you, but your bodies are 20% toxins and microplastics so… well played?”“Hungry Aliens” is a recurring theme in my work.
Cartoon One Oh Three Two

2 weeks ago | joshlieb.substack.com | Josh Lieb

Two burnouts on a couch. One shows the other her phone: “It’s called BENDER. It’s a dating app for alcoholics.”No real joke here. I just think it’s a good business model. Speaking of drinking, The Drink Savant is back. He’s dug way back in the archives and scratched out this hilarious six five nine:I don’t know if TDS was inspired to draw this because I ran another caveman joke yesterday; I don’t make a lot of caveman jokes, but it might just be a coincidence.
Cartoon One Oh Three One

2 weeks ago | joshlieb.substack.com | Josh Lieb

A caveman shows off his latest invention — fire — to a friend. The friend looks unimpressed: “Won’t it lead to a sentient AI that destroys us all?”The worm is in the apple. When I read old-timey comics, I always scan the names of readers who send letters or drawings in, to see if any of them amounted to something in later life.
Cartoon One Oh Three Oh

2 weeks ago | joshlieb.substack.com | Josh Lieb

It’s the “To Serve Man” episode of “The Twilight Zone.” A Kanamit — a giant alien — stands before a meeting of the United Nations General Assembly. A frantic man has just run to the front of the room, brandishing a huge book labeled TO SERVE TURNIPS. The head of the General Assembly, looking annoyed, says to him: “No shit it’s a cookbook.” Sorry for the cursing; the joke doesn’t work without it. Again, I do this every day, so some of these jokes are just for me.
Cartoon One Oh Two Eight

3 weeks ago | joshlieb.substack.com | Josh Lieb

Robots are having a luxurious feast. Human slaves, dressed in rags, serve them batteries and motor oil and etc. One robot says to another: “I don’t know why they always thought we’d kill them all…”People are such pessimists. Edd “Kookie” Turner spices up Taco Tuesday with this number one oh two seven:This is dark. The silhouettes of the workers, marching into the warehouse — that’s bleak. The smiley-face Amazon logo makes it worse. Exactly what the joke needs to set it off.
Cartoon One Oh Two Seven

3 weeks ago | joshlieb.substack.com | Josh Lieb

A wide shot of a huge warehouse full of boxes, with a big sign reading AMAZON FULFILLMENT CENTER. The workers look like tiny ants in the distance. One of them asks: “So why am I not fulfilled?”Fulfillment for me, not for thee. “77 Sunset Strip” was a hit show in the late 50’s. The breakout star was Edd “Kookie” Byrnes, seen here annoying some bad guys:Kookie was a jive-talking sidekick who became a major teen heartthrob; his novelty song “Kookie, Kookie (Lend Me Your Comb)” was a smash.

Contact details

Emails

[email protected]

Socials & Sites

Try JournoFinder For Free

Search and contact over 1M+ journalist profiles, browse 100M+ articles, and unlock powerful PR tools.

Start Your 7-Day Free Trial →

X (formerly Twitter)

Followers: 2K
Tweets: 1K
DMs Open: Yes

Josh Lieb

Josh Lieb @JoshLieb9

22 Apr 25

Cartoon One Oh Four Oh, by @JoshLieb9 https://t.co/pBRfyeLnZ4

Josh Lieb

Josh Lieb @JoshLieb9

21 Apr 25

Cartoon One Oh Three Nine, by @JoshLieb9 https://t.co/kEb6ycanVr

Josh Lieb

Josh Lieb @JoshLieb9

18 Apr 25

Cartoon One Oh Three Eight, by @JoshLieb9 https://t.co/sPQVpKF190