Kelaine Conochan

Washington, D.C., United States

Contributor at espnW

Editor-in-Chief at The Prompt Magazine

Your tomboy little sister. Writer, ultrarunner, women's sports advocate. Contributor @espnW / @wcp / @runnersworld, editor @thepromptmag. she/her

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Articles

Care Package Esperanto: The Universal {Love Language}

Nov 5, 2024 | thepromptmag.com | Kelaine Conochan

It’s 2001. I just got back to my dorm room, and the light on my landline answering machine blinks flirtatiously. I press the button and angels sing. It’s the front desk, telling me there’s a package waiting for me in the lobby. I know my mom sent it.
Olympics 2024: Kristen Faulkner and the Triumph of the Underdog

Aug 6, 2024 | thepromptmag.com | Kelaine Conochan

I love a good underdog story. I also love a good cycling race. When the two combine, I’m excited and energized for days—my mind turning over seemingly endless possibilities that were previously difficult to imagine. Kristen was not favored to win—she was not even slated to compete until a few weeks before the race, when original qualifier, Taylor Knibb, dropped out to focus on triathlon. Kristen took over Knibbs’s place, yet was not planning to excel at the road race, or even necessarily work hard.
{Olympic Week}: 3 Lessons to Learn from Noah Lyles, Men's 100m Champion

Aug 4, 2024 | thepromptmag.com | Kelaine Conochan

When most people think of my sportswriting, they assume it’ll be about long distance running. If not that, then CERTAINLY something about women’s sports, right? Well, today I’m doing almost the polar opposite. Because I want to… nay, I must write about Noah Lyles, whose gold medal performance in the men’s 100m final last night was nothing short of inspired. In a crowded field of the most talented sprinters in the world. On a fast track.
How a 6-year-old marathoner ignited America's parenting debate

May 4, 2024 | espn.in | Dana Lee |Kelaine Conochan

DISASTER STRIKES JUST past the 16-mile mark of the 2022 Flying Pig Marathon in Cincinnati, Ohio. It is, in Ben Crawford's mind, the worst thing that can happen when you're running 26.2 miles with your 6-year-old son. Rainier Crawford trips, skins his knee and drops his popsicle, which melts on the hot pavement. Rainier clings to his mom. His tiny shoulders heave with sobs. "Oww," he cries.
Torture & Nostalgia: Your Gym Class Square Dancing Unit

Mar 21, 2024 | thepromptmag.com | Kelaine Conochan

Square dancing could not have been less relevant as a life skill. This was middle class suburban New Jersey. We didn’t have hoedowns or promenades or cotillions or debutante balls or Paula Deen’s butter-laden diabetes slavery parties. We had shopping malls. None of us wore cowboy boots or ten-gallon hats. We wore t-shirts with Bugs and Taz on them, obviously listening to “Motownphilly” and about to do the OG running man.
This Just In:{ God Has Resigned }

Mar 4, 2024 | thepromptmag.com | Kelaine Conochan

Originally published on July 18th, 2016. Frauds! Demagogues! Hedonists!By the time you read this, I’m already gone. Long gone. Days, weeks, years? What difference does it make? You didn’t even notice until I was already too far away to hear your prayers. You were too busy, too vainglorious to notice. Kneeling on your rugs facing the Holy Land, fasting till sundown. Pulling on your tzitzit, eating bitter herbs. Folding your hands quietly in the pew, eating your wafers. Like I fucking care about symbolism.
My 2023 {Holiday Card}: To New Beginnings

Dec 18, 2023 | thepromptmag.com | Kelaine Conochan

Happy Holidays! (Sorry, the liberals got to me!)Me? I’ve had a bit of a tumultuous 2023, but as the year rounds itself out, I’m finding comfort in all the things with which I have been blessed. Frequently I’ve leaned on friends and steadied by their comfort and security. Family also remains a bedrock and thankfully it was a mostly healthy year for everyone. Work continues to challenge and push me with new responsibilities, while still occasionally making me want to tear my hair out.
How the {Selfie} Ruined Your {Photo} Collection

Nov 8, 2023 | thepromptmag.com | Kelaine Conochan

I. today is a pretty dayJust hold right there. Actually, tilt your chin up a bit. Lips a bit plumper, if you can. Plumper still. THERE. OK, now relax your shoulders. No, don’t slouch. Sit up straight. That’s it. Try to get your arm out of the shot if you can. It looks awkward. No, I know we all know it’s a selfie, but like, let’s try not to make it so obvious. Well, don’t be mad! Now your eyebrows look weird. OK, so now we’re not going with the closed mouth? We’re going with the toothy grin? No, it’s fine.
Kelaine's Log: 21 Days of Unemployment

Aug 21, 2023 | thepromptmag.com | Kelaine Conochan

WhO wANtS TO fuCKIng FiGHT mE RIGht NoW? Fuck this noise, I’m going hiking. I’m free. I’m adventurous. If a badass bitch falls down in the woods and no one is in the whole park, does she make a sound? YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT SHE DOES. I’m going to eat a lotus flower and throw fireballs like I’m fucking Luigi. SERENITY NOW, BITCHESSSSS!Should I shave my head? Imma apply for my fucking dream jobs right fucking now. I’m going to write for Conan. Watch me. Broad City, you know you want this.
True Tales of the {Frequent Flyer}: The Noblest Profession

Aug 7, 2023 | thepromptmag.com | Kelaine Conochan

Ah, the so-called “friendly skies.” We take wing, crossing countries, continents, and coasts for business and pleasure. We rack up miles and status, in one of the most successful but also most classist and repulsive loyalty programs the business world has ever known. Behold! The Frequent Flyer program. Like any relentlessly capitalistic enterprise, airlines want your repeat business, and they want it BADLY. Their balance sheets NEED you.