Lindsey Ellefson

when i was 23, a cop popped out of this and beckoned me in, saying i was a runaway. after confirming i was an adult, he asked if we should prank my parents (?) by calling them and because no one knew i was alone in a secret precinct, i said uhhh, sure 👍

FearBuck @FearedBuck

bro found a secret office behind the mirrors in a New York subway 😭 https://t.co/kRZFVwcD0Y

tots? in minnesota? https://t.co/dp3XaQvXWm

MLB @MLB

Twins, OF Harrison Bader agree to 1-year deal with mutual option for 2026, per @MLBNetwork insider @JonHeyman. https://t.co/WzrYVRbhXt

pamela anderson is the worst person to use as an example here because she very famously did get married and had her life publicly ruined for it. and she kept getting married after that! because she’s a true believer in love and tradition! and she’s still getting attacked!

Myron Gaines @MyronGainesX

The wall is unfucking defeated. Women truly do age like milk, especially white blondes. Ladies, get married, and have children before its too late. This woman was an icon in the 1980s and 1990s Baywatch. https://t.co/u7lD3Bb3B8

today is as good a day as any to remember the pohlads only got the #mntwins in the first place because the other mlb owners didn’t want to work with donald trump. imagine…? https://t.co/XMg8kZK8Be

so many jokes about eric adams on here that when i accidentally come across actual analysis or news i reread it a few times trying to find the punchline. disorienting

after consulting this map and doing what i consider very precise calculations, i have concluded that if every man, woman, and child in the light red area chipped in $204.29, we could buy the #mntwins from the pohlads and replenish the diminished payroll, who's with me https://t.co/CXW6osxIE8

tristan casas i’ll see you in hell

💪 https://t.co/dD6gWodyBQ

last night i saw a commercial for target-exclusive dog food bowls using “hot to go”

Pop Base @PopBase

Chappell Roan says that she won’t do anything that doesn’t ‘serve her music’ or help with her ‘world-building’: “That’s why I am saying no to every f***ing brand deal right now, because I’m like ‘Does it fit in this world?’ No, H&M does not fit in this world. Also, f*** H&M.” https://t.co/VtRWidB87M

RT @Cluffalo: These infographics don’t work on me because my takeaway is always that 17 donuts isn’t as bad as I thought https://t.co/8UuMU…

if walz commited to singing the menards jingle even once per week until november, i predict the dakotas would put a big surprise on the electoral map

SubwayTakes with Kareem Rahma @SubwayTakes

The most neglected part of home ownership is THE GUTTERS 🏡 @Tim_Walz https://t.co/JL21BoR7El

me when carlos correa hits a home run his first game off the injured list, bookmark it https://t.co/cz93LFVXHl

RT @emnathalia: About to leave the USA after a beautiful year here. One of my quintessentially American highlights was being treated to my…

first national men’s championship in minnesota since 1991

Pop Crave @PopCrave

Kamala Harris announces Tim Walz as her vice presidential running mate for the election. https://t.co/QMli6AO5cC