Lorne Jackson

1 week ago | heraldscotland.com | Lorne Jackson

David Donaldson isn’t sure he’d like to taste this Dutch double-baked sliced loaf. “I suppose they call the outside slices 'cheeks',” he says, “though any sane person knows they are the 'outsiders'.” (Image: Contributed) Picture this Culture-loving Rod Clements took his elderly mother for a day out, which involved afternoon tea in Glasgow city centre then a visit to an art gallery.

1 week ago | heraldscotland.com | Lorne Jackson

Madness of crowds The Diary hasn’t seen the Minecraft Movie, for it isn’t meant to be anywhere near as memorable as Lawrence of Arabia or Citizen Kane. We hear rumours, in fact, that it’s one of the worst flicks of recent memory, though the satirical youth of today are flocking to watch it, then mocking proceedings by tossing their popcorn and drinks at the screen… and each other. The teenage son of reader Greg Martin plans on seeing the film next week, which makes dad exceedingly suspicious.

1 week ago | heraldscotland.com | Lorne Jackson

Mickey Rourke (Image: Mickey Rourke. (Ray Burmiston/ITV/Initial)) Taking the Mick Mickey Rourke is the most prominent Mickey to succeed in Hollywood since Disney’s famous rodent hit the big time. Unfortunately the Diary always confuses the two stars. Was it Mickey Rourke who fell in love with Minnie and hung out with Pluto, Goofy and Donald? Quite possibly.

1 week ago | heraldscotland.com | Lorne Jackson

John Swinney in New York for Tartan Week (Image: Scottish Government/PA Wire) Count on mum The Scottish school system is the envy of the world, though the education provided by our native parents is equally invaluable. Reader Tom Fenn was in a Chinese restaurant where he overheard a girl, about seven years old, trying to impress her mum by showing off her counting skills. “…seventeen, eighteen, nineteen…” chanted the wee mite.

2 weeks ago | heraldscotland.com | Lorne Jackson

Foster Evans sends us this elegant advert promoting the delights of Canada. And we thought the best reason to visit was the mountains and maple syrup. (Image: Contributed) Winning ways Isn't it disappointing how children always get their own way nowadays? This sorry state of affairs surely came about when the adult community outlawed shoving kids up chimneys and down coal mines. The little tykes have been cock-a-hoop and out of control ever since.