Mick Booker

The Sainsbury’s delivery man is ‘having a day’. He just turned up at ours with a cauliflower cheese for two, a huge bag of cat litter, nine toilet rolls and a turkey that serves 14. He now thinks he might have given our shopping to someone else.

“Hey Chris - thanks for bringing the Duty Free Marlboro and the bottle of Joop! But what the heck is this you’ve brought back too?” https://t.co/53LAh3J1ds

£33 for 20 First class stamps. How are we now a place where some people on fixed incomes have to choose between heating/eating or sending family at the other end of the country a simple Christmas greeting. Nuts.

I’ve asked for a load of golf wear for Christmas even though I don’t play and have no intention of starting. I’ve just suddenly started likening the look of it. Please don’t laugh at me in the New Year or whisper ‘get a load of Greg Norman’ as I pass you in the street.

Just walked past the Salavation army brass band in town - always brings me to happy tears and today is no exception

At last, socks are back in. I was tired of wrapping napkins, paper or plastic bags around my feet this last year while they were out of favour. https://t.co/DRJEOMHJhs

Big coats still in fashion after coming into fashion again a couple of weeks ago. Will check in again next week on how big coats are faring but I think as we approach late December coats will be key. Particularly big ones. https://t.co/fwneig09u2

People who do The Butterfly stroke in public swimming baths should be on a watchlist.

My wife, who clearly is never irritated by me, reports a secret epidemic of annoying men between 40 and 60 on trains sighing loudly and regularly.

I’ve developed zero tolerance for people who say ‘ooh I’m getting my steps in tonight’ when all they are doing is walking slightly further or faster than normal. The human race existed happily without this phrase until about 2010.

RT @GBNEWS: My dad had Motor Neurone Disease - it was horrible to see what he went through but I still don't know if assisted dying is righ…

After starting a day with bumping my head on a taxi door at 6am and shouting at the rain it has ended with getting home to a Dartford crossing fine and paying to repair next door’s roof after a builder went up to fix a leak on our roof and broke theirs in the meantime. Terrific.

RT @MickBooker: Why I’m not convinced MPs can look themselves in the mirror on Friday Morning and be sure an assisted dying law is right. B…

I’m in that nice false hope period where I know a Brit has won the £177m lotto jackpot but I haven’t checked my ticket. As the taxi crawls through the flooded roads I’m thinking the first thing I’ll do after winning is fly to LA then buy a house from the Selling Sunset people.

I’ve already banged my head on a taxi door and swore loudly at the weather. Today already seems loaded with blessings…

Why I’m not convinced MPs can look themselves in the mirror on Friday Morning and be sure an assisted dying law is right. By me for GB News https://t.co/HsKfZnDAX4

Some rotters have ruined a special school bus - https://t.co/gKwiiRDI4Z