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3 weeks ago | 
thehardtimes.net | Mimi Kenny
NEW YORK — Legendary noise rock band Sonic Youth announced they were reforming 13 years after their dissolution, specifically to taunt and harass beloved Canadian interviewer Nardwuar the Human Serviette as severely as they had in 1991, confirmed uneasy sources. “Though the end of my and Kim’s [Gordon] marriage resulted in the end of our band, after more than a decade apart, our connection as artists has been reignited,” frontman and lead guitarist Thurston Moore said.
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1 month ago | 
thehardtimes.net | Mimi Kenny
HUNTSVILLE, Ala. — Rebellious bartender Shae Ruggeri insisted on playing Semisonic’s signature song “Closing Time” exclusively at the start of her opening shifts, confirmed sources who were equally curious about her stomach tattoo of “Regular Show” character Muscle Man. “When I first started at The Lagoon last fall, I was exclusively working nights, and at last call, Dave would always put on ‘Closing Time,’” Ruggeri said.
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Mar 4, 2025 | 
thehardtimes.net | Mimi Kenny
BOSTON — Local scene veteran Randy Ragnar amazed attendees at a house party with his seamless recitation of all five lead vocalists of Black Flag, several sources with the same parole officer reported. “We were celebrating finding out that whatever my buddy Horst had wasn’t scabies,” Ragnar said.
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Feb 10, 2025 | 
thehardtimes.net | Mimi Kenny
STOCKTON, Calif. — Local California woman and artistic muse Vanessa Murder, better known as “Miss Murder” from the AFI song of the same name, had changed her name to Mrs. Murder-Harrison, following her recent marriage to Adrian Harrison, proprietor of several restaurants in the area, confirmed sources who regularly post on the Ultimate-Guitar message board. “I was into that whole ‘emo’ thing back in the day,” Murder-Harrison said.
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Feb 1, 2025 | 
thehardtimes.net | Mimi Kenny
At first glance, Bagel Bytes might just seem like your average, ordinary, everyday post-electroclash trio. But the Greenpoint outfit has also been revealed as one that takes certain – some might say perverse – pleasure in having their shame on display for all to see. This was evidenced by their recent announcement of a lengthy upcoming spring tour, one which includes three dates in Ohio.
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Jan 19, 2025 | 
thehardtimes.net | Mimi Kenny
As a creative, it has always been imperative for my art to speak to its moment without feeling confined to any particular zeitgeist. Timelessness cannot be forced. Instead, it must be cultivated naturally through curiosity, trust, and patience. That’s why I’m proud to say that I’ve finally realized isolation should be the prevailing theme of my album about the COVID-19 pandemic.
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Dec 10, 2024 | 
thehardtimes.net | Mimi Kenny
LOS ANGELES — Acclaimed folk musician Joanna Newsom recently announced that the long-awaited follow-up to her most recent studio album was nearing completion, pending the addition of comedic rap verses from her husband, actor and Lonely Island member, Andy Samberg. “I understand my near-decade-long hiatus from recording has been difficult for devotees of immersive, mystical Americana, rich with compositional wonder but grounded by a human longing for meaning and connection,” said Newsom.
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Nov 28, 2024 | 
thehardtimes.net | Mimi Kenny
BOULDER, Colo. — An explosive dispute over genre semantics broke out at the Thanksgiving dinner of the three-generation metalhead Reeder family regarding the disputed progressive metal subgenre known as “djent,” several sources with tinnitus reported. “For once, Thanksgiving was going great,” middle son Zakk Reeder said. “Then, ‘Bleed’ came up on shuffle, and Dad had to use the ‘D-word’ in front of Uncle Len.
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Sep 14, 2024 | 
thehardtimes.net | Mimi Kenny
These days it seems like everyone is a political activist. At least, they like to think of themselves as such. Except, they don’t know their history. While I don’t bear any ill will towards the younger generation in their fight for a better world, they appear to be sadly ignorant of their elders who fought before them. To be more specific, I’m referring to the time when, I, a 16-year-old in 2004, spray-painted “BUSH” on a stop sign in my Ohio town.
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Aug 31, 2024 | 
thehardtimes.net | Mimi Kenny
Ready for a geography lesson? New York City is comprised of five boroughs: the Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, and Staten Island, each bearing its own inscrutable mystique. However, some seem to believe that the world of New York City begins and ends in the most sanitized corners of one section. At the risk of pointing fingers, the Muppets and their apparent unwillingness to branch out beyond pockets of Manhattan means they’ll never be able to lay claim to being genuine New Yorkers.
