Mordechai Schmutter

Writer and Editor at Freelance

Humor columnist (10 publications), author (8 books). Oh, do I have more room? I'm not experienced with twitter yet. I was worried that I'd make the bio too lon

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Articles

So the Parents Shouldn’t Fall Asleep

2 weeks ago | jewishlink.news | Mordechai Schmutter

One of the main things you learn as an adult is that Yomim Tovim are not relaxing. Shabbos is the day of rest. No other Yom Tov bills itself that way. Even Shavuos, which is the easiest Yom Tov, the minhag is not to sleep. Yamim Tovim are not about sleep. And with no other Yom Tov is this truer than Pesach. The average adult is more tired at the Seder than they are any other night of the year. That’s our Mah Nishtanah.
So The Parents Shouldn’t Fall Asleep

2 weeks ago | queensjewishlink.com | Mordechai Schmutter

One of the main things you learn as an adult is that yomim tovim are not super relaxing. This is also what your non-Jewish co-workers learn when they ask afterwards how you enjoyed your vacation, and you stare at them with half-closed eyes, wondering how to answer them in as few words as possible. Shabbos is the day of rest. No other yom tov bills itself that way. Even Shavuos, which is in a way the easiest Yom Tov, there’s a minhag is not to sleep. Yomim tovim are not about sleep.
Shelling Out - The Jewish Link

3 weeks ago | jewishlink.news | Mordechai Schmutter

With yom tov fast approaching, it’s time to think about getting your wife something nice. Such as a carton of eggs. Well, it’s either something nice or eggs. You can’t have both. You’re going to make me decide between eggs and matzah? So we need to figure out what we’re going to do. Last Pesach, according to my notes, my family ate 20 dozen eggs. In one week. Don’t tell my doctor. And I don’t know about you, but I haven’t heard any of our so-called pro-Jewish politicians address this.
Talking About Talking About Talking

4 weeks ago | jewishlink.news | Mordechai Schmutter

A few weeks ago, I wrote a column about things you can talk about with your family at the dinner table. Because as we all know, experts say that it’s best to eat as a family. Although experts also say you should work and support your family, and they tell you that your kids should go to bed on time. What do these experts want already? Experts can’t have it all. Mostly, it’s about conversation.
Looking Over What We Overlook

1 month ago | jewishlink.news | Mordechai Schmutter

I find that when I’m in cleaning mode, there are certain messes I don’t even see. They’re just a part of my house now. I see them in other people’s houses, though. Those same things. Everyone who comes into your house sees them but you. These things kind of get a pass every time you clean, but I would say that once a year you should slow down a bit and think about them. I.
Looking Over What We Overlook

1 month ago | queensjewishlink.com | Mordechai Schmutter

I find that when I’m in cleaning mode, there are certain messes I don’t even see. They’re just a part of my house now. I see it in other people’s houses though. Those same things. Everyone who comes into your house sees them but you. These things kind of get a pass every time you clean, but I would say that once a year you should slow down a bit and think about them. Not now, of course. Do a separate cleaning after Pesach to get to them.
Chatzi Lachem - The Jewish Link

1 month ago | jewishlink.news | Mordechai Schmutter

If there’s one thing people enjoy about a Friday Purim, it’s complaining about it. As far as complaining goes, Friday Purim ranks up there with Yom Kippur on Shabbos, Thursday night Motzoei Pesach, and a three-day Yom Tov when the second day is Simchas Torah. But what are people complaining about? It’s not the fast because the fast is on Thursday, like it seems to be every year. Taanis Esther is almost always on a Thursday, somehow. Science has not figured this out.
Chatzi Lachem

1 month ago | queensjewishlink.com | Mordechai Schmutter

If there’s one thing people enjoy about a Friday Purim, it’s complaining about it. As far as complaining, Friday Purim ranks up there with Shabbos Yom Kippur, Thursday night Motzoei Pesach, and a 3-day Yom Tov where the second day is Simchas Torah. But what are people complaining about? It’s not the fast. The fast is on Thursday, like it seems to be every year. Taanis Esther is almost always on a Thursday, somehow. Science has not figured this out. No, it’s about the lack of time during the day.
I’m Mostly Talking to Myself

1 month ago | jewishlink.news | Mordechai Schmutter

If you think about it, there are so many things that you only do when you’re in a car. Like talk to yourself. Most people don’t generally talk to themselves, but when they get behind the wheel of a car, they definitely do. Mostly lashon hara about the other drivers. Basically, I bring this up because a lot of times when you’re in the car, you say things like, “Look at this idiot in front of me.” Is the person really an idiot? Maybe, maybe not.
I’m Mostly Talking To Myself

1 month ago | queensjewishlink.com | Mordechai Schmutter

If you think about it, there are so many things that you only do when you’re in a car. Like talk to yourself. Most people don’t generally talk to themselves, but when they get behind the wheel of a car, they definitely do. Mostly loshon hara about the other drivers. Basically, I bring this up because a lot of times when you’re in the car, you say things like, “Look at this idiot in front of me.” Is the person really an idiot? Maybe, maybe not.