Nick Coffman

1 week ago | hard-drive.net | Nick Coffman

NEW YORK — The once amazing Spider-Man has reportedly started moonlighting as a salesman for multi-level marketing company and creator of Cutco Knives, Cutco Corporation. Residents all over New York were shocked to find the web crawler knocking on their doors last week offering them a chance to sell knives with their very own starter kit. “Freaking Spider-Man, at my door?

2 weeks ago | hard-drive.net | Nick Coffman

IOWA CITY, Iowa — What was supposed to be a fun night of magicka and love making ended in disaster when a local Final Fantasy themed orgy was attended exclusively by Cid cosplayers. Thomas Figg, horny party host and the only person not dressed as some version of Cid, shared his disappointment with local news stations. “I thought this would be a good way to meet fellow Final Fantasy fans,” Figg said, wearing his Neo Bahamut cosplay. “I thought I’d meet a cute Yuna cosplayer or a Tifa.

3 weeks ago | hard-drive.net | Nick Coffman

Xbox gamers upset over Gears of War leaping over to the PlayStation, I come to soothe your pain. Forget the fact that more people are going to enjoy an updated version of the original. The end of Gear’s console exclusivity puts Marcus, Dom, and the rest of Cog in the good company of Sega and Sonic the Hedgehog. Don’t believe me? Look at this pregnant Marcus Fenix I just drew. The floodgates are open. The entire series is going to find its way to the PlayStation (and maybe even Switch 2).

1 month ago | hard-drive.net | Nick Coffman

ADELAIDE, South Australia — With the finish line for Hollow Knight: Silksong on the horizon, Team Cherry has brought on famed fantasy writer and lore connoisseur, George R.R. Martin, to write additional backstory for the game. Team Cherry Co-Director, Ari Gibson confirmed the new hire on a Twitch live stream earlier this week. “When it comes to lore, nobody beats George,” Gibson said, holding up his sticky note-covered copy of A Dance with Dragons with its spine worn down to the pages.

1 month ago | hard-drive.net | Nick Coffman

WASHINGTON — US Health Secretary, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., announced a ban on all Mountain Dew flavors, except for Baja Blast earlier this week, as part of his ongoing war on sugar. His latest ban came during a heated news conference where Kennedy disparaged the soft drink’s variety of flavors. “You want to put something called ‘Code Red’ in your body, yet, I’m the crazy one,” Kennedy said to members of the press as they gulped down what remained of their newly banned favorite flavors.