Richard Littlejohn

2 weeks ago | dailymail.co.uk | Richard Littlejohn

Done up like a kipper doesn’t even begin to cover it. That would presume Surkeir went into his ‘reset’ surrender as a freshly-caught herring. Even if Starmer did enter the conference chamber naked - as the post-war Labour foreign secretary Nye Bevan once remarked in different circumstances - it was only because he voluntarily prostrated himself face down on the slab, gagging to be split butterfly fashion along the dorsal ridge, before being gutted, salted and cold-smoked.

3 weeks ago | dailymail.co.uk | Richard Littlejohn

Today’s edition of Here We Go Looby Loo comes from a prison on the Isle of Portland, in Dorset, where, um, you’re going to have to bear with me on this . . . What follows is another one of those stories I thought I’d never read, let alone write. But here goes. From His Majesty’s Daily Telegraph, yesterday. And I quote:‘A female prison officer smuggled a Calpol syringe into the jail to “artificially inseminate” herself with an inmate’s sperm.

3 weeks ago | dailymail.co.uk | Richard Littlejohn

All you need to know about the latest ‘crackdown’ on immigration is that had it been proposed by a Conservative government, Surkeir Starmer would have voted against it. So, too, would the Home Secretary Pixie Balls-Cooper, self-styled white saviour of the Syrian refugees she promised to put up in her own home – and then didn’t, obviously. Labour opposed every single measure the Tories wheeled out in their half-hearted, cosmetic efforts to reduce the numbers of migrants settling in Britain.

4 weeks ago | dailymail.co.uk | Richard Littlejohn

Just as well I’m not an immigrant, otherwise I’d be on the first plane out. Under Labour’s latest disingenuous gimmick, anyone coming to work in the UK will have to attain a command of English to A-level standard or face deportation. That would rule me out from the off. I left school at 16 for a job as a cub reporter on a local rag. I’d passed English O-level (what we used to call GCSE in old money) but never advanced beyond that.

1 month ago | dailymail.co.uk | Richard Littlejohn

Despite Reform UK’s spectacular success in the local elections, this wasn’t exactly VE (Victory in England) Day. Not yet, anyway. To deploy another wartime metaphor, it was more like the Battle of Britain, where against the odds a plucky, determined Few defeated a formidable enemy.