Ryan Syrek

3 weeks ago | thereader.com | Ryan Syrek

Wait, is the full title of Ballerina actually From the World of John Wick: Ballerina? That is how it is listed on IMDB, so let’s say yes! That is simply perfect. Considering that it is essentially Joan Wick, with its every element being horrifyingly derivative, the only better title would have been We Would Like to Have Additional John Wick-Related Money Please: Ballerina. Nobody went to see John Wick for the story, but at least somebody made some kind of effort writing them.

4 weeks ago | thereader.com | Ryan Syrek

Writers/directors Danny and Michael Philippou make mean, ugly movies. That’s not an insult so much as an inarguable assessment made after watching Talk to Me and Bring Her Back. Both movies feature imperative sentences as titles and an imperative observation about interacting with dead people: Don’t do it. That’s probably the name of their next film. Unlike Talk to Me, which was a beautifully brutal bit of malevolence, Bring Her Back falters at the finish.

1 month ago | thereader.com | Ryan Syrek

Comedians these days can either accept that “funny” is an incredibly subjective term or blame their lack of talent on the “woke mafia.” So at least, there are options now. Tim Robinson is a prime example of the former option. A true Hawaiian pizza of a jokester, he is arguably too vehemently defended by those who find his humor delicious and remains baffling to a much wider majority. Having previously fallen into the latter group, I did not expect to enjoy Friendship.

1 month ago | thereader.com | Ryan Syrek

I do not understand the Final Destination movies. I mean their appeal. I understand the movies themselves just fine. They are not very complicated. In all of them, death is some kind of sentient, unseen being with a Rube Goldberg fetish who gets his invisible jollies from decapitating young people with seemingly innocuous objects like bowling balls and such. Weirdly, everyone in the films automatically genders the formless “death” as a man.

1 month ago | thereader.com | Ryan Syrek

So many production companies have their logos in front of Fight or Flight, it is almost certain one is just straight-up laundering money, right? No one has yet invented a better way to cleanse ill-gotten gains than financing a Josh Hartnett action movie. That is a joke, just in case any of those 10-20 companies have good lawyers. This is all to say that, from the jump, Fight or Flight feels dodgy and suspect.