Scott Kerman

1 week ago | eagletribune.com | Scott Kerman

The World According to ScottI have flat feet. Flat as a pancake. All babies are born with flat feet. They start to develop the curvature of their feet around 3 years old. My curve never developed. I’ve walked around this planet for the last 59 years looking like I’m wearing scuba-diver flippers. kAm“u@C v@5 D2<6D[ 5@?’E =@@< 2E >J 766E[ x’> 9:56@FD]”k^Am kAm#F?[ $4@EE[ CF?Pk^AmkAm|2?J @7 >J 72>:=J >6>36CD 92G6 7=2E 766E] pAA2C6?E=J[ :E’D :?

3 weeks ago | eagletribune.com | Scott Kerman

My wife and I like to make bets with each other. The definition of a bet is to risk something, usually a sum of money against someone else’s on the basis of the outcome of a future event, such as the result of a race or game, or to wager on the day the Martians will invade. “Hey you octopus-like creature with a huge head, if you can wait a moment while I find the app to translate Martian speak, I can give you directions to the nearest Chick-Fil-A.”kAm~FC 36ED 4@?D:DE @7 E9:?8D =:<6 H9@ 42? DE2J :?

1 month ago | eagletribune.com | Scott Kerman

A report came out recently that the chances of an asteroid striking Earth has more than doubled in a matter of weeks, according to NASA astronomers. After watching the nightly news, this report gives me something to look forward to. The asteroid discovered just after Christmas and named 2024 YR4 could strike in December of 2032. When the detection of the asteroid was announced in December, NASA predicted just a 1.3% probability of it hitting Earth. The likelihood has increased to 3.1%.

2 months ago | eagletribune.com | Scott Kerman

Could I please have a moment of silence? I’m here to report that sadly, during the bitterly cold stretch of a few weeks ago, our furnace died. Dead like George Washington, if he had been designed to specifically provide heat to our living space. The New England tradition is that when a heating guy says your furnace needs replacing, you need to come up with a plan to see how many more decades you can make it last. kAm“w@?6J[ x 7:8FC65 :E @FE] (6 42?

2 months ago | eagletribune.com | Scott Kerman

I currently have a nemesis, the definition being a rival who just somehow seems able to get the best of you. At times, I’ve had one in school, sports, comedy and the business world. But this one is unique. It’s a freaking chipmunk. I call him Bill. Actually I call him something else involving profanity. Bill lives beneath my backyard shed. Bill does not pay rent, but he does live rent free in my head. He secretly moved in three years ago in the dead of winter, when my Ring cameras and I weren’t looking.