Stephanie Hayes

Tampa Bay

Columnist at Tampa Bay Times

Writer at Stephinitely

Columnist at @TB_Times. Syndicated via @CreatorsNation. Morning fiction writer. https://t.co/220zAFhKFo

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Articles

Tampa is the butt of the joke in ‘Shucked’ at the Straz

2 days ago | tampabay.com | Stephanie Hayes

Tampa has long labored as a tidy pop culture punchline. Need we count the ways we have been poked and prodded everywhere from standup sets to “30 Rock”? If Florida is the root of all absurdity, Tampa is the juiciest fruit on the tree, er … cob. Usually, though, this region gets lambasted from afar, perpetrators lobbing digs at our sweaty idiosyncrasies before running back to West Village apartments with four roommates. The culprits don’t often make fun of us to our face.
Tampa es el blanco del chiste en 'Shucked' en el Straz Center

2 days ago | centrotampabay.com | Stephanie Hayes

Tampa lleva mucho tiempo siendo un remate perfecto en la cultura pop. ¿Hace falta enumerar las veces que nos han pinchado y ridiculizado, desde monólogos de comedia hasta "30 Rock"? Si Florida es la raíz de lo absurdo, Tampa es la fruta más jugosa del árbol... o mejor dicho, la mazorca.
Is Ron DeSantis wrestling’s next heel?

1 week ago | tampabay.com | Stephanie Hayes

You do not want to lose the wrestling fans, OK? Few folks are so passionately clear-eyed about their heroes and foes. Today’s wrestling supporters love to marinate in juicy narratives, foretell plot twists with the acuity of Columbo and sniff out bull from miles away. We all need wrestling fans on our proverbial teams. And yet, when Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis visited a WWE event at Tampa’s Yuengling Center over Memorial Day weekend, he appeared to have lost them.
2025 is a Florida hurricane season of vibes, baby

2 weeks ago | tampabay.com | Stephanie Hayes

Storm riders, it’s time to begin all rituals that induce good fortune. Knock on wood, harness the energy of the moon, wear the same socks each time a red cyclone appears on a radar. We Floridians pray to be spared every year, of course. But in 2025, hurricane season takes on a decisive aura of finger-crossing. The official clock for storm activity starts June 1. Federal meteorologists are predicting an above-average Atlantic season with up to 19 named storms and as many as five major hurricanes.
As a Florida environmental scandal, I refuse to quit!

2 weeks ago | tampabay.com | Stephanie Hayes

Shh. I know you’re upset, but don’t be loud, boo-boo. I’m just trying to cut down protected trees for the millionth time this year. Kisses, though, you know I love you. I’m a Florida environmental scandal, and my whole, like, vibe is sneaky. My signature move is to lurk deep inside government paperwork all, “Nothing to see here,” while waiting for the green light to slap up sweet prefab McMansions like Batman. Maybe I am The Batman!Aw, you big mad? Chill, babes. Come here, where’s my hug?
An elegy for the Tampa Bay Times building

3 weeks ago | tampabay.com | Stephanie Hayes

ST. PETERSBURG — Hundreds of employees toting boxes of notebooks and crusty coffee mugs poured through a new, soaring lobby and into eight gleaming floors of pink concrete and glass. It was 1988, and the St. Petersburg Times was growing again. A gleaming $9.4 million structure would raise the ceiling on its older foundation. The Tetris of architecture, three buildings meshed into one, would develop a reputation as a local Frankenstein.
Look, Mom, a rare compliment for Florida’s Legislature

4 weeks ago | tampabay.com | Stephanie Hayes

Mother’s Day dawns, a holiday in which women with children are smoothed into caricatures fiending for mimosas. In reality, moms contain multitudes. Some moms remain skeptical of the cut florals industry. Some moms grill just as much meat as the hollow archetype of fathers we will celebrate in June. Fairly reliable counterpoint: Moms are kind? Diplomatic, at least. Due to their stress levels and labor loads, moms have developed a mutant ability to see the best in bad situations.
Florida’s environment crumbles with each cowardly choice

1 month ago | tampabay.com | Stephanie Hayes

When the environment spoils, destruction doesn’t arrive all at once. There’s no sudden onset of poison, no tsunami wave. The degradation of natural splendor and species is a slow process, a boulder pushed uphill by humans who “made decisions over decades and decades.”Those are the words of Tampa Bay Times deputy investigative editor Bethany Barnes, who equated reviewing years of ineffectual Florida environmental regulations to watching a slow-moving horror story.
Mild to moderate medical conditions for the end times

1 month ago | tampabay.com | Stephanie Hayes

In my free time, I’ve been exclusively watching medical shows and making doctor’s appointments. No, this is a blast, I swear. Have you seen “The Pitt”? Best thing on TV right now. “Dying for Sex”? Heartfelt and hilarious. Are you also mired in a cursed rewatch of Season 6 of “Grey’s Anatomy”? I’m so sorry, and we will get through this together. Because American healthcare is essentially a liquidating JCPenney, these shows are riddled with commercials for name-brand pharmaceuticals.
The Clearwater Ferry isn’t just a boat. It’s Tampa Bay magic.

1 month ago | tampabay.com | Stephanie Hayes

I don’t know about you, but when I see a Tampa Bay headline on a national website like People or CNN, I get this feeling like, “No. They can’t have it. They can’t possibly understand.” Because only locals really know what a beloved mainstay like the Clearwater Ferry means around here. Only we know how an unassuming passenger boat sews a vital stitch in the fabric of Tampa Bay’s spirit.