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3 weeks ago | 
thesatirist.com | Stephen Lyons
by Stephen J. LyonsMuscle bros flexing their barbed-wire tattoos circle each other like sumo wrestlers itching for a throw-down. Ear buds in place, they strain and grunt to the hearing-loss beats of gangster rap and conservative podcasts. They pose in front of mirrors. They drink multi-colored concoctions of steroids purchased on the dark web from a former Eastern Bloc nation’s stockpile. They do not wipe down the sweaty, petri-dished weight machines when finished.
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2 months ago | 
theglobepost.com | Stephen Lyons
“The struggle of man against power is the struggle of memory against forgetting.”— Milan Kundera“In the 35 years since the crackdown, all discussion of the incident has been heavily censored in China, as authorities have effectively attempted to erase it from history. Public commemoration or mere mention, online or off, of the Tiananmen crackdown is banned.”— Amnesty International regarding China’s obliteration of the Tiananmen Square protests from its history.
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2 months ago | 
thesatirist.com | Stephen Lyons
by Stephen LyonsDATELINES: Hawaii, Kremlin, Greenland, Starbuck’s, Chick Fil A, Palm SteakhouseAt 11:44 p.m., Hegseth posted in the chat, “NEED DRINKY! ASAP!”The text beneath this began, “TIME NOW 12:11 a.m.: Weather is FAVORABLE here in Hawaii.
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Mar 4, 2025 | 
stephenjlyons.substack.com | Stephen Lyons
“It seemed revolutionary to admit cruelty, disregard of human values, and general amorality, because this at least destroyed the duplicity upon which the existing society seemed to rest,” —Hannah Arendt, “The Origins of Totalitarianism” As the Trump administration, led ironically by former Obama administrator, and new “border czar” Thomas Homan, sics its Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents on Chicago and other sanctuary cities to carry out perhaps the largest deportation effort in U.S....
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Mar 3, 2025 | 
stephenjlyons.substack.com | Stephen Lyons
When I attended bar and bat mitzvahs in high school one of the games we would play was the limbo. Now, I was an awkwardly tall boy with absolutely no flexibility. To bend backward and fit under the bar was almost impossible. So I was out of the game early, but hung around to see which double-jointed classmate would eventually prevail. As a teenager I thought I had an inkling of how low the bar could go. Turned out I had no idea.
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Feb 27, 2025 | 
stephenjlyons.substack.com | Stephen Lyons
February 22, 2025From the desk of DOGE and @elonmusk“Consistent with President @realDonaldTrump’s instructions, all federal employees will shortly receive an email requesting to understand what they got done last week. Failure to respond will be taken as a resignation. “Please reply to this email with approx. 5 bullets of what you accomplished last week and cc your manager.
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Feb 25, 2025 | 
stephenjlyons.substack.com | Stephen Lyons
As expected, Trump voters, to quote the querulous-acting Senator Susan Collins, are now “concerned” with the rapid (or rabid) and destructive policy changes by the president and his unmuzzled attack dog (read DOG-E) and chain-saw wielding father of the Unlucky 13, Elon Musk. I’ve been anticipating their buyers’ remorse since, well, this past January 20, when the dictator on day one commenced signing executive orders with his unreadable black signature that resembles an Afib patient’s wonky EKG.
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Feb 21, 2025 | 
stephenjlyons.substack.com | Stephen Lyons
If the anonymous kids in the Department of Government Efficiency have run out of new ways to eliminate American’s food, air and health safety cut costs, it should look no further than the communications office of president and wannabe king Trump. I would recommend firing whomever writes speeches and lies, misinformation and ad hominem attacks statements for the King of Small Hands and, instead, employ Vladimir Putin’s Presidential Press Secretary, the talented wordsmith Dmitry Peskov.
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Feb 21, 2025 | 
stephenjlyons.substack.com | Stephen Lyons
If the anonymous kids in the Department of Government Efficiency have run out of new ways to eliminate American’s food, air and health safety cut costs, they should look no further than the communications office of president and wannabe king Trump. I would recommend firing whomever writes speeches and lies, misinformation and ad hominem attacks statements for the King of Small Hands and, instead, employ Vladimir Putin’s Presidential Press Secretary, the talented wordsmith Dmitry Peskov.
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Feb 19, 2025 | 
stephenjlyons.substack.com | Stephen Lyons
Time to compare the current obliteration of 250 years of American democracy with that of a more repressive nation, one with an equally out-of-control autocrat destroying decades of peace in Europe, and tossing his critics in prison, that is, if they haven’t yet fallen “accidentally” to their death from a balcony or sipped from a cup of radioactive tea. Yes, I’m talking about Russia, led by President Trump’s mentor and inspiration, Vladimir Putin.
