Suzi Godson

London

Columnist at The Times

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Articles

Sex File: My new partner says we're sexually incompatible

1 week ago | irishexaminer.com | Suzi Godson

In your letter, it sounds as if you are hoping that I might be able to help you to state your case so you can persuade her to give it another go. I genuinely don't see the point in doing that. Ultimately, what you want is immaterial because all relationships require two people to voluntarily commit to them. If this woman were interested in you and in this relationship, she would have found a much gentler or more constructive way to address any perceived sexual difficulties.
My new girlfriend says we're sexually incompatible

1 week ago | thetimes.com | Suzi Godson
Sex File: His morning breath is a turn-off - how do I ask him to clean his teeth?

2 weeks ago | irishexaminer.com | Suzi Godson

You do need to talk to your partner about his morning breath but you definitely should not do it when you are just about to have sex. Most difficult conversations are as much about timing as they are about content, so choose your moment. To avoid creating feelings of shame or embarrassment, sexual difficulties should never be discussed in the bedroom. Humour helps. Not humiliating each other helps more.
Sex File: I keep getting crushes on random men who aren't my husband

3 weeks ago | irishexaminer.com | Suzi Godson

Your friends are right. Increased libido and sexual fantasy are a relatively common phenomenon during perimenopause, but it is not something that women talk about too openly. Post your question on an online chatroom and it's a whole different story. You'll find floods of perimenopausal women anonymously discussing their sudden and inexplicable attraction to a neighbour or a random work colleague. There is actually a sensible biological explanation.
Why do I keep getting crushes on random men?

3 weeks ago | thetimes.com | Suzi Godson
Sex File: I miss the secrecy of our early relationship

1 month ago | irishexaminer.com | Suzi Godson

Although workplace relationships can be an HR nightmare, they are fairly common, particularly among younger staff. There is of course the risk of a power imbalance, which can lead to favouritism while the relationship is in play, and discrimination if it fails. However, risk has never stopped humans from doing unwise things. Last year a survey of 2,000 people carried out by Forbes and OnePoll in America found that 60% of adults had had a workplace romance.
Sex was better when we were a secret

1 month ago | thetimes.com | Suzi Godson
Sex File: He doesn't like me being vocal in bed

1 month ago | irishexaminer.com | Suzi Godson

There is nothing wrong with being vocal during sex, and many women would probably have more satisfying sex lives if they took a leaf out of your book, but the fact that it is putting your partner off his stride is a problem. Your approach to this issue has been to try to get your partner to do what you do, but that is not going to work for a very obvious reason: a man who doesn't appreciate having a vocal partner is hardly going to feel comfortable giving instructions himself.
He doesn't like me being vocal in bed

1 month ago | thetimes.com | Suzi Godson
Sex File: Why has he stopped initiating in bed?

1 month ago | irishexaminer.com | Suzi Godson

This is such a common problem that if you stick your question into ChatGPT you'll get a perfectly reasonable response compiled from the musings of millions of agony aunts and uncles around the globe, all desperately trying to eke out a 700-word response. I take a more academic approach, but sexual initiation in long-term relationships is not the kind of topic that attracts grant funding, so there is a real dearth of research on it.