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2 weeks ago | 
chrisduffy.substack.com | Chris Duffy
I’m no spring chicken. I’ve known that for a while now, partly because I started using expressions like, “I’m no spring chicken.” That’s the kind of old timey saying that spring chickens rarely use. They’re too busy inventing new slang and creating cultural movements. But despite the fact that I am solidly a middle-aged dad now, I felt like I was keeping my finger on the pulse of popular culture through comedy.
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3 weeks ago | 
chrisduffy.substack.com | Chris Duffy
It was 9 p.m. on a Thursday in Mobile, Alabama and just about every restaurant in the area had shut down for the night. This was a problem because we had just finished the comedy show we were in town for and none of us had eaten dinner. We had arrived at the bar/restaurant that locals had recommended 5 minutes after their kitchen closed.
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1 month ago | 
chrisduffy.substack.com | Chris Duffy
It’s officially Spring and here in Los Angeles the lemon tree in our garden is weighed down with giant, football-sized lemons. These are not the kind of lemons you can buy in the store. They’re big and heavy and when I hand one to a friend, their immediate first reaction is “this lemon is HUGE.”It’s not at all clear to me that huge is a desirable quality in a lemon. A huge, fresh peach? Love that. A huge, crisp apple? Sounds great. A huge lemon?
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1 month ago | 
chrisduffy.substack.com | Chris Duffy
I’m in the final stages of writing a book about humor and how to laugh more. It’s coming out early next year (2026). I’m excited! I’m also trying my best to make sure that publishing this book doesn’t ruin my life and reputation. You see, I’ve never been the most reliable narrator. I think I’m a pretty entertaining narrator! But you wouldn’t want me to be in charge of a narrative that required all the details to be exactly accurate.
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1 month ago | 
chrisduffy.substack.com | Chris Duffy
It’s hard to get a good haircut. A barber once told me the difference between a terrible haircut and a good haircut is two weeks, but that felt a lot like him making excuses for the fact that I was going to look like a stunt double from Dumb and Dumber for the next fourteen days. I’ve written before about how, for years, I used to only get my haircut by one particular guy but then he left the country and I wandered through a wilderness of careless clippers and untrustworthy razor blades.
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1 month ago | 
chrisduffy.substack.com | Chris Duffy
The dream of any entertainer living in LA is to be cast in a role you can count on for the rest of your career. I finally booked one!No, I’m not the star of a sitcom. No, I’m not a Marvel villain. Yes, I am Zero the Hero, an alien/physical embodiment of the base-ten number system who visits my friend Jocelyn’s kindergarten class each year on the 100th day of school. This is my third year recurring in the role, which Jocelyn tells me means that I have officially booked it for good.
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2 months ago | 
chrisduffy.substack.com | Chris Duffy
When I checked into the hotel in Williamsburg, Brooklyn this week, the guy at the front desk looked at me eagerly. “Are you here for the podcast festival?”“I am,” I said. He looked up from the computer, his eyes wide. “Are you… a podcaster?”“I am,” I said. “Wow!” He said, as he handed me my keycard. I stood there for a few awkward seconds as I tried to figure out if he was messing with me or not. He seemed so genuinely excited. And yet, here we were in Williamsburg.
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2 months ago | 
chrisduffy.substack.com | Chris Duffy
I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s Day. I like the idea of celebrating love! I like the idea of doing something special for the people you care about! But getting a CVS greeting card and a box of stale chocolates is the kind of gift that proves it really is “the thought that counts.”As in, if you panic-purchase a gift in a gas station or pharmacy 15 minutes before giving it to your loved one, you’ve put in approximately zero thought. I’m not sure it counts.
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2 months ago | 
chrisduffy.substack.com | Chris Duffy
There’s a headline from the comedy website Reductressthat’s been making the rounds this week:It’s a great joke. But I have to admit, that it hits a little close to home for me. I’ve been trying to figure out how I can stop the world from getting worse without getting destroyed by the news and feeling like I need to be consuming updates 24/7 about the minutiae of each and every terrible policy.
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2 months ago | 
chrisduffy.substack.com | Chris Duffy
When I first moved to Los Angeles, I ate three of my first five meals at the Burbank IKEA. That’s partly because I kept forgetting necessary items and having to go back. It’s also partly because their veggie dog with all the fixings is a criminally underrated food item. I’m not even a vegetarian. They have just created a masterpiece with the perfect mix of crispy onions, tart fermented cabbage, and other condiments on top.