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Big Boy preznit drops BOMBS. what could possibly go wrong?

6 days ago | jefftiedrich.com | Jeff Tiedrich

oh look, Sundowning Grandpa Bloodthirst made a boom-boom — only this time, it wasn’t in his pants. fucking hell. it looks like we have no choice but to wade in and parse this mess — but before we do, I have to point out for the gazillionth time that none of this is normal. it’s not normal for a president to break the news to the world that he’s bombed the shit out of another country via a post on his failing shithole app.all of this is off-the-charts batshit.
this week in stupid: June 21 edition

1 week ago | jefftiedrich.com | Jeff Tiedrich

as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened. there must have been a massive gas leak in Florida’s 13th district that went undetected on Election Day 2022. no other rational explanation exists for their selection of Anna Paulina Luna to represent them in Congress. why do I posit this? well, let’s let Ann Appalling Lunatic put her own batshittery on display.
Mad King Donny’s Juneteenth message: get the fuck back to work

1 week ago | jefftiedrich.com | Jeff Tiedrich

here’s an awesome true story from American history. on December 1, 1863, Abe Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, granting freedom to all enslaved black people in the Confederate states. now, I hear you asking, hey Uncle Jeff, did the citizens of Texas go ‘I guesswe should tell the people we’ve been enslaving that they’re now free’? hell no, they did not. this is Texas we’re talking about. they were all ‘fuck that guy.
narcoleptic fart factory has his finger on the button. or maybe he doesn’t.

1 week ago | jefftiedrich.com | Jeff Tiedrich

hey, everyone! let’s play Wheel of Moron. here’s how it goes: you take the stupidest fucking imbecile to have ever loaded a diaper in the Oval Office. you make sure he has no impulse control, no understanding of how geopolitics works, and — most importantly — absolutely no understanding of how consequences work. you take this fuckwit, and you put him in charge of a nuclear arsenal. and that’s it! ready to play? here we go.
insane clown threatens Iran - because fuck you, that’s why

1 week ago | jefftiedrich.com | Jeff Tiedrich

when the sentient cockroaches who inherit the Earth from us try to figure out how it all became a smoking, radioactive ruin, they’re not going to believe the truth: that a vindictive, score-settling psychopath went postal because his handlers hustled him out of the G7 before he could power-load his diaper and use it to paint the walls — and because the dumbfuck Fox News dunk-tank clown he made SecDef couldn’t military-parade his way out of a paper bag.
Preznit Fuckwit shits the bed at the G7 and goes home in a huff

1 week ago | jefftiedrich.com | Jeff Tiedrich

let’s say you’re the low-wattage leader of a nation, and you’ve just publicly humiliated yourself by throwing the world’s most clownfuckingly-inept dictator-parade ever. what do you do for an encore? well, if you’re United States President Squeaky McTanktread, you head to Canada and publicly humiliate yourself at the G7. let’s dive right in and bear witness to the atrocities — but before we do, let’s set the National Embarrassment ticker back to zero.
two Democrats were murdered. the MAGA response was beyond disgraceful.

1 week ago | jefftiedrich.com | Jeff Tiedrich

on Saturday morning, some scumbucket psycho dressed himself up as a cop and knocked on the door of Democratic Minnesota State Rep. Melissa Hortman. he then opened fire, killing Hortman and her husband. he also pulled the same shit at the home of Democratic State Senator John Hoffman, hospitalizing Hoffman and his wife. it was a politically-motivated assassination. it was also just another fucked-up day in the United States of Guntopia. the suspect, Vance Luther Boelter, is in custody.
no kings, fuck yeah

1 week ago | jefftiedrich.com | Jeff Tiedrich

let’s start off with a bang, and put the hero of the day right up top. ladies and gents, I give you the Poet Laureate of No Kings Day. we did it, folks. an estimated five million of us gathered peacefully coast to coast, to rise up as one and convey a singular message: fuck off, Donny Convict — you’re not our king. just feast your eyes on this compilation of protests in large cities and small towns. meanwhile, check out the weak-ass shit that was going on in DC. oof.how embarrassing. ace job, Donny.
this week in stupid: June 14 edition

2 weeks ago | jefftiedrich.com | Jeff Tiedrich

as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened. it’s been a minute, so let’s check in with god-bothering uber-zealot David Reece. yo Dave, want to catch us up on how your plan to transform America into a Christofascist theocracy is coming along? “I think the first table of the law, in other words, the first, second, third and fourth commandments should be enforced by the state.
Donny’s policies suck, complains Donny in crazypants post

2 weeks ago | jefftiedrich.com | Jeff Tiedrich

anyone expecting logic or consistency — or even basic coherence — from Mad King Donny’s royal pronouncements is living in a dream world. the Mad King has the impulse control of a horny dog and the attention span of a meth-tweaked squirrel. he’ll start out yammering one thing, and by the end of the sentence, he’ll have contradicted himself four times. plus, the man is stark barking bonkers.