Exploding Unicorn by James Breakwell

Exploding Unicorn by James Breakwell

A hilarious family comedy that unfolds one mishap after another.

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Webcomic: Grocery Run

3 days ago | jamesbreakwell.substack.com | James Breakwell

Subscribe to Exploding Unicorn by James Breakwell to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.
Discussion Thread: The Longest Stretch

4 days ago | jamesbreakwell.substack.com | James Breakwell

What's the longest you've made it while driving without a stop? A few years ago, we went from Indianapolis to St. Louis in one go without anyone needing to go. That was four and a half hours. It was a rare family record worth celebrating. Since then, our stops have become more frequent, which is a trend in the wrong direction. As my kids get bigger, they’re also better hydrated. Not that I'm disappointed when they demand I make extra stops. I'd rather blame them than admit I want a break, too.
Whining on the Waves

5 days ago | jamesbreakwell.substack.com | James Breakwell

We survived another family vacation to the happiest place on earth. If you thought I meant Disney World, you’ve clearly never been to Wisconsin, which has shorter lines and more cheese. We ate too much, slept too little, and had entirely too much fun. We once again took advantage of our friends’ generosity to invite ourselves over and have a great time at their expense.
The Father's Day Toilet Disaster

1 week ago | jamesbreakwell.substack.com | James Breakwell

It started, as most crises do, with the ceiling. “Has it always been like that?” Lola asked. That’s a dangerous question here. We don’t so much live in a house as in a collage of flaws and architectural abnormalities. Everything is cracked, broken, twisted, or slanted. The pertinent question is if it reached that state recently or many years ago. An ancient crack is no problem. What do I care if a giant fisher in the wall developed in the roaring twenties?
Webcomic: Total Recall

1 week ago | jamesbreakwell.substack.com | James Breakwell

Subscribe to Exploding Unicorn by James Breakwell to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.
Discussion Thread: Turning Forty

1 week ago | jamesbreakwell.substack.com | James Breakwell

What did you do for your fortieth birthday? If you're not forty yet (lucky you), what did your friends or relatives do? I might be looking for ideas for no particular reason. Sound off in the comments.
Storming Scout Camp

1 week ago | jamesbreakwell.substack.com | James Breakwell

I used to hate camping. Now, I love it. That’s because my kids are doing it instead of me. Every summer, I pay to leave them in the woods for a week. We’ll see if they remember to leave a trail of breadcrumbs to find their way back. Next Sunday, my thirteen-year-old, Mae, and eleven-year-old, Lucy, will both go to BSA summer camp. It will be Lucy’s first time. She’s gone on weekend campouts before but has never stayed in a tent for more than two nights. She’s nervous about camping for a full week.
Onyx's Future

2 weeks ago | jamesbreakwell.substack.com | James Breakwell

Upgrade to paid to play voiceoverWhat is best in life? To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women. Those were the thoughts of the great moral philosopher Conan the Barbarian. Or maybe it was Conan O’Brien. I get celebrities mixed up. But what is best in life if you’re a pig? To eat and eat and eat some more. They don’t care about conquering enemy tribes or getting beach-lean to look good on the ’Gram.
Webcomic: Quality Time

2 weeks ago | jamesbreakwell.substack.com | James Breakwell

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Discussion Thread: Top or Bottom Bunk

2 weeks ago | jamesbreakwell.substack.com | James Breakwell

Did you ever have the fortune/misfortune of sleeping on a bunk bed? Were you on the top or bottom? Growing up, I was always on top. It was my right as the oldest as largest sibling. It was a dumb choice. I couldn't just flop on my bed when I was tired or wanted to chill out for a few minutes. I had to climb a ladder every time. My freshman year in college, I fixed that error and claimed the bottom bunk. It might be the only thing I did right in all four years—oher than meeting my future wife, of course.

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