Multiple anxieties

Articles

I saw my neighbour protesting outside an abortion clinic

1 week ago | bellamackie.substack.com | Bella Mackie

I decided some years ago not to smile at old men on the street. This sounds mean doesn’t it? Well, it is. It’s small minded and based on nothing more than vibes, but I’m sticking to it. Old men might look harmless and faintly reminiscent of the grandpa in a Werther’s advert, but the ravages of time don’t erase their past. A walking stick and a twinkle of the eye doesn’t mean they didn’t do some horrific things to women back in their day.
You desire a nemesis, I long for a feud

2 weeks ago | bellamackie.substack.com | Bella Mackie

Friends, let us rejoice! Madonna and Elton John have ended their decades long feud. In a lengthy Instagram post, Madonna spoke of her hurt at comments John made about her, before saying that he’d begged forgiveness at an SNL recording and ending by teasing a future collaboration. I was not aware of this feud, and was disappointed in myself for a second. I am a scholar of feuds, an appreciator of the art. How had I not known about two musical icons dragging each other into old age?
So you want to be the hottest person in the care home

3 weeks ago | bellamackie.substack.com | Bella Mackie

I often wonder about the point of life. When the thought comes up, I try not to dwell on it for too long because going down that particular rabbit hole usually leads to gnawing anxiety about my own purpose. If I veer into existentialism, I freak out! I don’t have kids to guide into adulthood, I don’t believe in God so I’m not just waiting for the afterlife, but also, I’m not a hedonist only out to chase pleasure. So why am I here?
Have men tried just not hating women?

4 weeks ago | bellamackie.substack.com | Bella Mackie

I finally finished Adolescence, having to mete out portions of episodes slowly because the subject matter was just too heavy at times. A great show, now inevitably dominating the discourse, with everyone from experts to talking heads keen to debate the supposed crisis of masculinity, argue about parental responsibility vs that of the big social media platforms, condemn incel content and ask what exactly it is that boys need. I grew up before the internet.
25 brilliant pieces to read

1 month ago | bellamackie.substack.com | Bella Mackie

I am always reading, forever trying to find a new long read to dive into. I don’t want 300 word pieces dashed off just before deadline, I want lengthy stories which meander around and take me at least half an hour or more to get through, storytelling which transports me to a world I don’t yet know. These pieces are fewer and farther between, since they cost a lot of money and take a lot of time.
How not to survive the apocalypse

1 month ago | bellamackie.substack.com | Bella Mackie

One of the worst things about social media is how fucking stupid you feel when you reference it in conversation. Yeah you might occasionally say “I read a New Yorker piece about XYZ” but more often than not, it’s “I saw a TikTok about…” This is inarguably cringeworthy behaviour and it shouldn’t be socially acceptable to speak authoritatively about a topic if the only things you actually know about it are from a 35 second video fired off by some twenty year old in Williamsburg.
How to write a book

1 month ago | bellamackie.substack.com | Bella Mackie

I have exactly two weeks to finish book four, and I am slightly manic with it all. Last week I wrote twelve thousand words, completing six thousand of those in just one day. My husband told me I was being meaner than usual, before exclaiming triumphantly, “It’s the book! The people you’re writing about are making you mean!” I denied this of course, but he’s not necessarily wrong. I write about horrible people, and inevitably, they get inside my head. Or rather, they are from my head.
An examination of the anthem that was 'Everybody's Free'

1 month ago | bellamackie.substack.com | Bella Mackie

1999 was a marvellous year. I was fifteen and had just been allowed to upgrade my hair from erratic orange streaks courtesy of Sun-In to something infinitely more chic (a more uniform blonde and orange, I never got rid of the orange entirely), my train tracks had bedded in and I no longer worried I would get stuck to a boy’s mouth if I engaged in some heavy snogging.
Why I don't want children

1 month ago | bellamackie.substack.com | Bella Mackie

I was going to write about something more serious today but then Greg went on Instagram, posted some (frankly, far too adorable) photos of Barney going on a steam train and someone commented “OMG have an actual child already, you obviously desperately want one.” Many, many words have been written about the seemingly unstoppable need certain people have to see other people procreate.
How much do you follow the crowd?

1 month ago | bellamackie.substack.com | Bella Mackie

It’s important to know yourself, to be aware of your own biases and weaknesses. To realise when you’re being the worst version of yourself. To understand why you get red in the face and hear a weird humming noise in your ears when you see your partner’s socks inside out and lying on the floor. I was going to say that’s too niche but actually, I think it’s a pretty universal experience. I know I am an absolute sheep.