The Outfluencer

Articles

Hair: The great hormonal weather vane

2 weeks ago | aislingmkeenan.substack.com | Aisling Keenan

Brush it, bleach it, braid it, bang it, Britney 2007 it. It’s just a load of dead cells sprouting out of our heads. It’s just keratin. But hair, lads… it holds some amount of power. First of all, it can determine whether I’m about to have the best or the worst day of my life. If all goes well, I feel invincible. If it doesn’t, I fling a hairbrush into a wall and think about my future life as a Polyfilla girlie.
To dump or not to dump, that is the question

3 weeks ago | aislingmkeenan.substack.com | Aisling Keenan

I’ve made this post free to read for ALL subscribers, because I genuinely need everyone’s help. DO read on. I’ve often wanted to ‘hop on’ here as the influencers would say, and brain dump all of the bizarre thoughts I feel the urge to share on a daily basis (like, this morning, for instance, when the first thing I absolutely HAD to talk to my husband about upon opening my eyes was TKXXXXXXXX). Or to just share a brilliant TV or podcast recommendation.
i am so fed up of being productive

1 month ago | aislingmkeenan.substack.com | Aisling Keenan

to the extent that i'm writing this entire piece with no caps, just to see how gen z do things. i aspire to be one of those people who can just go, "personal news: i'm now prioritising rest!" and then float away on a cloud of worry-free self-care, emerging at some point in the future with glazed skin, a glazed-over look and a *poof* magically revitalised spirit. but here’s the problem: i have bills. a mortgage. a child whose feet grow at an ungodly pace requiring fortnightly new shoes.
Three beauty things worth your money

1 month ago | aislingmkeenan.substack.com | Aisling Keenan

Before I launch into the ‘here are things I bought that aren’t a total swizz’ part of this, I want to say to any new subscribers, HELLO and welcome, take a seat, will I throw the heat on for a few minutes? Thanks for coming, stay as long as you like. Then, I need to clear something up that’s been on my mind. I got some… (unwanted) *feedback* on my piece about the Meghan Markle-Sussex-Mountbatten-Windsor-Saxe-Coburg-Gotha TV show on Netflix.
The earth-shattering, genre defining TV masterpiece you’ve all been waiting for

1 month ago | aislingmkeenan.substack.com | Aisling Keenan

**HELLO there!**I’m making this piece free to read for all, with the hopes that some of you who subscribe for free might upgrade. I’d really appreciate it! If you enjoy this piece, consider going paid, or if you can’t right now, consider sharing it online maybe. It makes such a difference and I am trying to grow my Substack so I can put more and more time into it for you guys. Thank you. Yesterday, I watched two episodes of a show so compelling it should be studied in universities.
Neurological chaos: My synaesthesia seems to be changing

1 month ago | aislingmkeenan.substack.com | Aisling Keenan

Thank you, thank you and thank you again for supporting my Substack. I KNOW there’s a million options to choose from, so the fact that you’re parting with your money and/or your time to read mine means a lot. I hope you’ll stick around. Enjoy this piece - the mascara compendium is coming later in the week. I have written about synaesthesia before, although not extensively, considering what a huge and perpetual feature it is in my daily life.
I was so, so disappointed by this mascara

2 months ago | aislingmkeenan.substack.com | Aisling Keenan

I’m DESPERATELY interested in becoming one of those girls. Do you know the ones.
Happy Birthday to me… Or is it?

2 months ago | aislingmkeenan.substack.com | Aisling Keenan

Today is my 37th birthday. With a gun to my head, I’ll never admit that again, as I’m going to pretend to be 35 to anyone else who’ll ask, and will be for the next 5-7 business years. I’ll have to rely on Botox and the good will of kind people to keep it up, but I’m giving it a go. I am beyond grateful for my health, my safety, my comforts and my many, many privileges, of which ageing is one. It goes without saying. BUT.
Things that have helped me out of a hole

2 months ago | aislingmkeenan.substack.com | Aisling Keenan

If you are in a hole, of despair or upset or depression or brain fog or whatever decor your hole is adorned with, I’m here to make some hopefully helpful suggestions as to how to extricate yourself. Look, truthfully The Hole is still where I’m spending a lot of my downtime, but – mercifully – significantly less time now as we enter February than I was from mid-November onwards.
THE most unhinged show on Netflix (and why I was glued)

2 months ago | aislingmkeenan.substack.com | Aisling Keenan

Before I launch into this week’s piece, please know: I AM BESIDE MYSELF with gratitude for those of you who pay to read this. And I hope, if you’re a free subscriber, that you’d consider upgrading at some point to get the full experience. If you’re a free subscriber who’s on mat leave or studying or otherwise financially challenged, message me and I’ll comp you a subscription, no questions asked. Thank you so much for reading. Pop Star Academy: Katseye. With respect: You need to f*cking calm down.