Wilding Out

Articles

I Got Secret Access to RFK Jr.’s New Health Plan for America

6 days ago | wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding

Trump’s cabinet picks are, in general, fruitier than Baroque-era art. But his pick of RFK Jr to lead the Department of Health and Human Services was truly batshit-level fruit loopy. I mean, what could possibly go wrong by having an anti-vax, roided-up, roadkill soufflé-ing septuagenarian in that position, right? We’ll gloss over facts, like that he thought Ashkenazi Jews and Chinese people were “ethnically targeted” to be spared by COVID.
Is Canada Gayer Than MAGA-Mites? No, They're Just Closeted

1 week ago | wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding |Philip Ogley |Brandon Ellrich

When another humor writer takes your piece and runs with it—it’s an epic feeling. It’s the highest compliment because it generally means they thought it was so funny that it inspired their funny brain to start machinating on the topic. One of my fav humor writers from my Medium days, (he’s the comedic easter egg of Medium) did that before on a poem I wrote about micro penises. He wrote a comedic rebuttal.
Introducing, ‘Trump-Era’ Barbie

1 week ago | wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding

Barbie has been given a makeover with each major change in the American zeitgeist. This cultural icon has been given continual rebranded facelifts to keep her relevant in the changing times. And now — we have her MAGA makeover, to represent the state of Murica in 2025. *Spoilers* — It ain’t pretty. To make Barbie match the feminine mystique of the current administration, her makeover includes an actual facelift.
Trump Won't Like This...

1 week ago | wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding

What a wild ride this season of America has been in 2025. From democracy to oligarchy to likely full-on dick-tater-ship in the span of a few months. Not to mention the egomaniacal colonialism plans to rename the Gulf of WhatsHerFace, economically take Canada, and just flat-out usurp Greenland. Phew, a lot has happened this year — and we’re only a quarter through. I don’t know what’s on your bingo card, but mine has everything from pestilence to pox to plague.
America’s NEW Statue of Liberty

1 week ago | wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding

So in a moment of ‘I want my ball back’, the French made demands last month, for America to return the Statue of Liberty back to France. *Le gasp*. Member of the European Parliament, Raphaël Glucksmann, made the demand, claiming that some Americans “have chosen to switch to the side of the tyrants”. And now he wants to call ‘backsies’ on the 140-year-old gift. White House Press Secretary (and former child of the corn), Karoline Leavitt, called ‘no backsies’ immediately of course.
Zen Advice for Real Humans Who Have Shit To Do

1 week ago | wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding

Meditation has been all the rage for decades. Tap into your ultimate zen, reach enlightenment, blah blah blah. Fuck meditation. When I try to meditate I fall asleep. I assume that means I’m either total shite at it, or I have completely mastered it. Or did I win at meditating? *Shakes Magic 8 Ball*…“Outlook not so good”. Pfft, whatever. Either way, meditation isn’t for me. But I’m still surprisingly cool as a cucumber and all zen about life.
Hey MAGA, Canada is Super Gay

2 weeks ago | wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding

The MAGA crowd seems to have a newfound crush on Canada, like we’re their new pretend girlfriend. They’re suddenly obsessed with their neighbour north of the border, and think we should be their 51st state. Canadians have said ‘over our dead bodies’, but that doesn’t seem to deter them. So I thought I’d educate the MAGA crowd, who now have a hard-on for Canada, on what they’d be getting if they took over our happy country. Gay. You’d get gay. Canada is wildly, flamingly, fabulously homosexual.
Japan is Craptacularly 20 Years Ahead of Us

2 weeks ago | wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding

As much as I loathe starting any sentence with ‘twenty years’ ago, because it reminds me that I’m not in my 20s anymore (I’m 42, so it’s My 20s Round Two: Almost-Geriatric Boogalo) — here I am. About twenty years ago I was living in South Korea. And I was immediately jealous of the level of their toilet game. I moved there to teach English after my plans after graduating with print journalism and poli-sci degrees didn’t turn into the globe-trotting journalist job I’d hoped for.
Pingu is Pissed - So Are the Other Penguins

2 weeks ago | wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding

Just in case you live under a rock, I’ll share the news that Trump went off the deep end in his Depends (again) in creating sweeping tariffs for the planet. I’d say under a rock, or living in some remote unconnected region like Antarctica — but even Antarctica has heard about President Tantrump’s temperamental tariffing.
The Most Epic War You’ve Probably Never Heard Of

2 weeks ago | wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding

Unbeknownst to the rest of the world, there was a fierce territorial war raging on for over 50 years, in the Arctic. This epic five-decade battle was fought between Canada and Denmark, over a sub-zero speck of land, in a place nobody has heard of. That speck is called Hans Island. Hans and Gretel Island is just over one kilometer squared. It’s uninhabited, barren, and is in the high Arctic. Clearly, it’s a prized jewel worth breaking NATO alliances and declaring war for.