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1 week ago | 
wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding
Trump’s democrapocalyptic plans to destroy the world apparently require such regularly shenanigans and clusterfuckery that barely a day goes by without hearing hearing his name plastered across the news. Even here in Canada. And I get sick of hearing about him and his cabinet of cosplaytriots. I’ve heard the name Trump so much that the word has lost all meaning. Ironic, given that Trump can’t trump shit.
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1 week ago | 
wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding
Space nerds on China’s Tiangong space station were cosmically swashbuckling the space decks and swabbed a new type of bacteria. They discovered a new bacterium called Niallia tiangongensis. Then they brought it back to Earth. My immediate reactoin was to scream loud enough that the astronauts on Tiangong could hear me:“Nope.”“Put. It. Back.”Earth is fucked up enough right now. We don’t need to bring new space flora and fauna back to our planet.
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1 week ago | 
wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding
Have you ever heard someone speak and immediately wonder if they’re a friend of Dorothy? That’s ‘gay voice’; it’s a thing. It doesn’t have to be overly-dramatic, like Jack on Will & Grace, even minor voice inflections can give off a gay vibe from those in the skittles community. Some people may associate ‘gay voice’ with over-the-top expressions like ‘Yass’ and ‘Slay!’, but ‘gay voice’ isn’t just a cultural phenomenon in sociophonetics.
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1 week ago | 
wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding
Most of us have probably heard about whiskey dick. Well, maybe not the devout Seventh-Day Adventists and other bible thumpers-not-humpers. If you’re one of those, go on and clutch your pearls now, because shit’s about to get sinnery. Whiskey dick is when your pump-action DNA rifle has a leaky hose. It happens after you’ve had too many wiggly stumble pops.
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2 weeks ago | 
wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding
In case you’ve been living in an off-the-grid bunker and have misssed the utter dicktatorial fuckery that’s been happening in America, there’s a democrapocalypse going on. Sorry to break the bad news, but I appreciate you using your one-time, from-the-bunker checking in on the world to read this. Emperor Palpatini Hands, and his loyal followers from Dumbfuckistan, are having a military parade for the 250th anniversary of the military.
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2 weeks ago | 
wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding
*Quick reminder, your support means the world to us, and there are options at the end starting at $1. I have a secret weapon of sadness destruction. It annihilates melancholy and gives you a dose of serotonin that’s potent enough to happify a glum elephant. It’s Cora, my dog. She’s my little happy factory. This 50-lb fur factory has an infectious spirit. I know everyone says that about their dog. But my dog is bestestest dog to ever dog (just like everyone else).
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2 weeks ago | 
wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding
This year might be Canada’s year to shine in the international limelight. Granted, it’s easier when the superpower under you who normally steals your thunder is currently somehow both underwater and a dumpster fire. One way Canaduh may shine this year is by attracting top global talent, since sub-aquatic dumpster bonfires tend to scare off applicants and all. Ever since Trumpledumbskin was elected, there’s been an exodus of the American intelligentry.
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3 weeks ago | 
wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding
In case you live under a rock, probably where you’re busy tending to the jarred brains of the administration’s cabinet — Trump has issued a new travel ban. Yup, Trump waved his magical dictatorial wand again, and AI spat out a list of 19 countries who are now on his despotic shit list. He’s barring 12 countries’ citizens from travelling to the Disunited States of America.
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3 weeks ago | 
wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding
These days, if you’re not wildly ultra-mega-douche successful, then you’re a lazy wankmuffin. There are 24 usable hours in every day and you’re wasting time sleeping and pooping, it’s unforgiveable. It’s the reason you’re an abject failure and not a mega-yacht-owning, quadruple transparent belt (that’s three levels above black belt) entrepreneur. You lazy little bitch, with your sloth-like decompression time. I’ll bet you even blink, don’t you? Pfft, I knew it. You piddly, personified turnip.
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3 weeks ago | 
wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding
If you listen to conspiracy theories, Paul McCartney is dead, the moon isn’t real, King Charles is a vampire, dinosaurs built the pyramids, Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer, and Finland doesn’t exist. Also, Australia doesn’t exist…but more on that later. I love a good conspiracy theory. What can I say, they’re mindbogglingly entertaining to read.