Robin Wilding

Writer at Wilding Out

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Articles

Uh, Hustle Harder, You Lazy Bitch

4 days ago | wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding

These days, if you’re not wildly ultra-mega-douche successful, then you’re a lazy wankmuffin. There are 24 usable hours in every day and you’re wasting time sleeping and pooping, it’s unforgiveable. It’s the reason you’re an abject failure and not a mega-yacht-owning, quadruple transparent belt (that’s three levels above black belt) entrepreneur. You lazy little bitch, with your sloth-like decompression time. I’ll bet you even blink, don’t you? Pfft, I knew it. You piddly, personified turnip.
Flat Earthers Are(n’t) Edgy

5 days ago | wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding

If you listen to conspiracy theories, Paul McCartney is dead, the moon isn’t real, King Charles is a vampire, dinosaurs built the pyramids, Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer, and Finland doesn’t exist. Also, Australia doesn’t exist…but more on that later. I love a good conspiracy theory. What can I say, they’re mindbogglingly entertaining to read.
Mindbending Animal Superpowers I Wish Humans Had

1 week ago | wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding

*If you like this piece, and all my pieces—consider becoming a supporter for as little $1 (options below). Animals are the pinnacle of billions of years of planetary evolution. We humans are said to be at the top of the proverbial evolutionary foodchain, but I call bullshit on that egocentric shenanigannery. We might all have opposable thumbs and have figured out fire, but some of us did things like invent calculus, and some of us don’t know how electricity stays in the wall. Me, I’m the latter.
How to Say Fuck Off - ✨In Corporate✨

1 week ago | themouthyrenegadewriter.substack.com | Robin Wilding

It’s Saturday Night Bonus funnies! An awesome humor article once again from my favorite comedic writer, . You’re going to get a kick out of this one, I promise. Work related shit is funny. We’ve all seen some things. But you haven’t read one like this before. Be sure to hit that subscribe button for Robin if you got some great laughs out of this one.
Gay Revenge IS What Jesus Would Do

1 week ago | wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding

I’m rarely very spiteful, but I have to admit — I love a petty queen. Whether it’s getting even with a cheating ex, or hiding your sister’s water bra before a big date because she tattled on you to your parents (twinkle twinkle little snitch, mind yo business nosy bitch), a little harmless petty revenge can just hit the spot sometimes. Not that I’d ever be petty like that, of course.
Men, Right There - Don’t Stop!

1 week ago | wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding

Men, when you’re doing the humpty no-pants dance and a woman says, or screams, or mutters breathlessly, “Don’t stop” — don’t make this into a riddle. While women can be confusing, I can assure you this phrase is the most literal phrase we’ll ever utter. Don’t. Stop. Every time this has happened to me, I want to explode. Or punch something. Or someone. For fucks sake, if I yell in ecstacy ‘Don’t stop!’ — don’t.
A Substack Love Letter

1 week ago | wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding

*I thought it was time for a little Substack journey update, as it's been a while. As always, we’ll return to the regularly scheduled hilarity after. I was chatting with another writer friend recently, and we both said that we tend not to share our successes here much because we don’t want to flaunt them. Which is the right approach, as both of us are doing quite well here on Substack, and we know writers who might be envious of our numbers.
How to Say Fuck Off - ✨In Corporate✨

2 weeks ago | wildingout.substack.com | Robin Wilding

*If you get a giggle from the below, consider becoming a supporter for as little as $1/month or $10/year. I thank my lucky fucks every day that I don’t have a corporate office job. And somewhere there’s an HR manager whose spine just tingled and butthole puckered as I wrote that last phrase. So I’m pretty sure that the feeling is mutual. If I were to weasle my way through an interview and land a job, the ink wouldn’t be dry on my employment letter before I dropped a whoopsyfuck and got fired.
Why Does Gen Z Look SO Old?

2 weeks ago | themouthyrenegadewriter.substack.com | Robin Wilding

Saturday Night’s all right for reading, get a little action here! It’s time for a weekend bonus article from my favorite humor writer, my Sis. Give this one a read and see if you agree with her humorous take on Gen Z. And please hit the subscribe button or support Robin with a monthly tip, if you can spare 5 bucks a month.
I’ve Damn Near Lost the Will to Live

2 weeks ago | themouthyrenegadewriter.substack.com | Robin Wilding

I’m experiencing the agony of da’ feet right now. Damn, y’all. I got fitty problems, and for once, Trump ain’t one of them. Turning 50 years old last October was pretty neat. A milestone birthday, if you will. I even bought myself a pair of my dream shoes, the Air Jordan 3s that I’ve wanted since 9th grade. But lately, my foot is killing me. “It’s gotta be the shoes.”I kid, I kid.