Dan Kroll

1 week ago | danjkroll.com | Dan Kroll

I learned something this week: if ever I find that my access to Fairmont Crest is revoked, I can simply head over to Garland Memorial and claim to be a new hire. Sure, you might get a few pointed questions from the nursing staff about who you are and why you’re there, but the perfect wig and fake accent will quickly convince everyone that you’re the real deal.

2 weeks ago | danjkroll.com | Dan Kroll

Good news! I have found a surefire way to gain access to Fairmont Crest any time I want. I simply call up real estate agent extraordinaire Vanessa McBride and tell her that I am looking to buy a house for my mom. She is only too happy to invite me to the country club to look at property listings. There’s only one weird thing about it. She keeps asking if she can see my rigatoni and taste my meatballs. She must have seen some of my cooking posts on social media. Or something.

3 weeks ago | danjkroll.com | Dan Kroll

I have to start this column with a little bit of bad news: the people of Fairmont Crest have gotten wise to my sneaking into the community. I admit that not having to surreptitiously find ways into the gated community would make my life easier, but there is an element of fun involved in my shenanigans. Maybe I will just start disguising myself. Now that they know that eyes are upon them, I am worried that the residents of Fairmont Create might try to behave when they think I’m around.

3 weeks ago | danjkroll.com | Liz Masters |A Pup |Dan Kroll

Dear readers, you will be stuck with me for the next few weeks as Tamilu is off living her best life. But fear not, she will be back to writing juicy General Hospital commentary before you know it. In the meantime, the writers are giving me lots of soapy goodness to dish about. Let’s kick things off with Drew, the man who keeps finding new lows to piss everyone — including the viewers — off. There’s no disputing that Drew Cain has a town full of enemies.

1 month ago | danjkroll.com | Dan Kroll

Dear readers, would you feel safe drinking, eating, or breathing anything in Port Charles? I wouldn’t. You can be with the head of the WSB and still get poisoned. If you aren’t safe with the James Bond of Port Charles, where can you be safe? Carly was having such a lovely day of romance, steamy sex, and showers up until she guzzled down that glass of bubbly laced with poison. The takeaway from this storyline is that Jack Brennan genuinely cares for Carly.