Doktor Zoom

Idaho

Writer and Senior Editor at Wonkette

Wonkette writer & senior editor. Born at 318.43 ppm atmospheric carbon. He/him. I'm just an animal, looking for a home. Retweets do not imply comprehension.

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Articles

Americans Refuse To Quietly Let Republicans Kill Medicaid, People On Medicaid

20 hours ago | wonkette.com | Doktor Zoom

The House Energy and Commerce Committee got to work yesterday on its part of the One Big Beautiful Blowjobs for Billionaires Bill, in which they’ve been instructed to cut $880 billion over the coming decade. That means huge cuts to Medicaid, in the neighborhood of $700 billion, no matter how much Republicans fib about how they’ll simply cut out “waste, fraud, and abuse” or crack the whip on “able-bodied childless adults” who are just lazy.
Trump Orders Big Pharma To Reduce Drug Prices Or ... Well, They Just Better!

1 day ago | wonkette.com | Doktor Zoom

Donald Trump continued his string of impressive-sounding but basically unenforceable executive orders Monday by ordering American pharmaceutical companies to reduce their drug prices in the USA so everyone can have prescription drugs at the same price as in Europe, but without the socialism. No, you smartasses, the government demanding price reductions from for-profit companies wouldn’t be socialism, because the US is not commie like France is.
Joe Biden, Cause Of And Solution To All Our Air Traffic Problems

1 day ago | wonkette.com | Doktor Zoom

Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy has a brilliant plan to deal with continuing problems with the US’s aging air traffic control system and a shortage of air traffic controllers: Blame Joe Biden, and also speed up modernizations and upgrades to the system that began under Biden. We guess “blame Pete Hegseth” didn’t go over well in the administration. PREVIOUSLY!Is It Bad That Air Traffic Control Now Runs On Tinfoil, Morse Code, And 5 D Batteries?
Judge Orders ICE To LET RUMEYSA OZTURK GOOOOO

5 days ago | wonkette.com | Doktor Zoom

A federal judge in Burlington, Vermont, has ordered the US government to immediately release graduate student Rümeysa Öztürk from the private prison in Louisiana where ICE has been holding her since late March. And the judge means TOOT FUCKING SWEET.
Bill Gates Has Elon Musk's Number, Slim

5 days ago | wonkette.com | Doktor Zoom

Bill Gates, the former richest man in the world, had some harsh words this week for the current holder of that title, Semipresident of the United States Elon Musk.
He's From Chicago And He's On A Mission From God

6 days ago | wonkette.com | Doktor Zoom

By now, you’ve probably heard that America has a new pope, and that he is also Catholic. Robert Prevost, from Chicago, was chosen as the new pope yesterday, and we quickly learned that he’s a fan of the White Sox, putting the lie to a tweet from the Cubs claiming “Hey Chicago, HE’S A CUBS FAN!” (But as smartasses on social media pointed out, he was ultimately drafted by the Cardinals.) As penance for fibbing, the Cubs must say three Hail Marys and keep being the Cubs.
Court Tells Feds To Get Rümeysa Öztürk To Vermont For A Goddamn Hearing Already

6 days ago | wonkette.com | Doktor Zoom

A federal appeals court in New York ruled Wednesday that the federal government must stop fucking around and for fuckssake move Tufts student Rümeysa Öztürk to Vermont so she can challenge her arrest and detention as her immigration case goes forward, Jesus Fuck.
Very Normal US Embassy Orders Sweden To Cancel 'Diversity, Equity, Inclusion' Because F*ck You Is Why

1 week ago | wonkette.com | Doktor Zoom

The city of Stockholm, Sweden, plans to defy a demand from the US Embassy that it eliminate its Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion programs. It turns out that those Swedes don’t think they have to follow executive orders from the president of the United States, even when it’s an order that’s on letterhead and everything. Maybe Trump’s ambassador to Sweden should have gotten it notarized first.
How Is Trump F*cking The Environment Today? How ISN'T He?

1 week ago | wonkette.com | Doktor Zoom

Help Wonkette to rage, rage against the enshittification of everything! Become a paid subscriber if you can! CNN reports that Trump’s Environmental Pollution Administration is planning to eliminate the public-private Energy Star program, which for decades has provided consumers information on how much energy various home items use or save — not just washers, dryers, heat pumps, and AC units, but also TV sets and even windows — so they can make better-informed decisions while shopping.
Trump Keeps Doing Sh*t Nobody Voted For, Like Eliminating 'PBS Kids'

1 week ago | wonkette.com | Doktor Zoom

Donald Trump’s war on everything halfway good and decent continues apace, with the gratuitous cancellation of an Education Department grant that funds children’s educational programming on PBS. That’ll save $23 million that can now go to about a minute and a half of tax cuts for billionaires, or a month or so of Donald Trump’s golfing trips.