Wonkette

1 day ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

Last night, something came over Donald Trump, and it was probably gas. Also pain and frustration that people seem to be respecting his authority a little less each day, plus a feeling that his dreams of being dictator king of the world are slipping away. So he got to making a flurry of stupid Hitler executive orders, we guess to make him feel better. Are they are all going to court for being facially illegal and unconstitutional?

1 day ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

Yesterday, before Donald Trump went on a dictator bender issuing new travel bans and HEREBY ORDERING Harvard to stop admitting foreign students or faculty, and before he ordered an investigation into Joe Biden and his aides for whatever fucking dementia senile brainworms conspiracy theories were swirling around the bowl of his golden toilet right at that minute — President Bitchass is flailing, and if you don’t see that, you are not qualified to cover this stupid dictatorship — Trump had a...

2 days ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

In a move so toxically petty and insecure it could only originate from the stunted “leadership” of Secretary Shitfaced, AKA Pete Hegseth, the secretary has announced that he has ordered the Navy to rename the USNS Harvey Milk, we guess because ewwwwwwww icky gays make him feel like less of a man.

3 days ago | wonkette.com | Gary Legum

What is it with the try-hard sociopaths who apparently comprise America’s immigration roundup Gestapo? What is it with these NKVD agents pursuing the brave law enforcement mission of snatching up defenseless grandmothers, zip-tying the hands of children in courthouse hallways, and bundling innocent people off to Salvadoran gulags to rot away for who knows how long? Did their mothers not hug them enough?

3 days ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

Hi, good morning, here’s some shit we’re reading today:So it seems like we’ve finally reached the point where America may be really ready to learn what a fucking weird loser Curtis Yarvin is. You know all him, he’s the guy white MAGA Trump tech dorks are lining up to service like he’s some kind of brilliant philosopher Jesus, who JD Vance thinks is some kind of guru.