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America About To Get .00000000000001% Whiter As Trump Imports Future GOP Voters From South Africa

4 days ago | wonkette.com | Gary Legum

South Africa is a nation of a little over 63 million people, and we are so, so proud that our own nation, the United States of America, can ease the suffering of 54 of the white ones. God bless the USA! And other Lee Greenwood lyrics. Yes, that’s 54 with no zeroes.
Trump FEMA Administrator Is Polite To Democrats In Hearing, Immediately Fired

5 days ago | wonkette.com | Gary Legum

Now here is something you don’t see very often: an appointee of the Trump administration who seems to have had somewhat relevant experience that qualified him to oversee the agency he was appointed to lead on an acting basis. Not only that, but he also seemed to believe at least somewhat in the agency’s mission.
JD Vance: Why Do Kids Need Dolls When They Could Have Weapons Of War?

5 days ago | wonkette.com | Robyn Pennacchia

As if Donald Trump’s comments suggesting that “beautiful baby girls” could just have three dolls “instead of 30” were not awkward enough, Vice President JD Vance has expounded upon that idea by suggesting that parents should think about how much better they’d like it if they knew that when they sent their children off to fight in foreign wars, that they were fighting with “good, American-made weapons.” “We do need to become more self-reliant, and that’s not going to happen overnight, and it’s...
THAT’S INTERIM US ATTORNEY [HIC!] BOXWINE TO YOU, MISTER!

5 days ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

Stellar news, everyone!Donald Trump, in a sign of the absolute disdain in which he holds his job, this country, the institutions of the government, and the criminal justice system, has done the absolute funniest thing ever: He appointed a well-drunked Fox News host to be the interim US attorney in DC. We know what you’re thinking: But Pete Hegseth is already busy at the Pentagon! How can we expect him to double-fist jobs like this?
What Nonsense Does Trump's 'Wellness Influencer' Surgeon General Nominee Want To Sell Us?

6 days ago | wonkette.com | Robyn Pennacchia

On Wednesday, Trump withdrew his surgeon general nomination for Dr. Janette Nesheiwat, allegedly on the advice of one Laura Loomer, who was displeased with the former Fox News contributor’s history of supporting the COVID vaccine and vaccines in general. Her replacement?
Trump Announces Concepts Of A Trade Deal With OH HEY LOOK, NEW POPE!

6 days ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

Suddenly it is a big day of news that all happened at once!And somehow it’s not all bad news? There is a new pope. Donald Trump has pulled the nomination of controversial dickwit loser Ed Martin, who literally entered the Capitol on January 6, and not just to poop, to be US attorney for DC.
Should A Woman Be Forced To Carry A Dead Fetus For Weeks? South Carolina Says 'Yes!'

6 days ago | wonkette.com | Robyn Pennacchia

Earlier this week, the new and whatever-the-opposite-of-improved-is Washington Post ran a column from congressional reporter Paul Kane about how, three years post-Dobbs, abortion has supposedly “faded” as a major issue for Democrats — though the crux of his argument was largely that they are also talking about other issues, like the horrors that Donald Trump and Elon Musk have wrought upon our country, in addition to abortion. It was … a take, I guess.
I Dreamed A Dream Of ‘Les Miz’ Cast Members Telling Trump To Eat A Bag Of Dicks

6 days ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

Oh, what a delightful postscript to a story Wonkette brought you yesterday, oh happy day, oh Tag der Schadenfreude! Yesterday’s post was the latest twist and turn in the saga of Donald Trump stealing the chairmanship of the Kennedy Center and pissing in the middle of the stage, where the art happens, and Trump’s bitchy little pig Ric Grenell, whom Trump named as director, huffing and puffing at anyone and everyone about it, mostly especially Lin-Manuel Miranda, who yanked Hamiltonoff the...
Rep. Lauren Underwood Kicks Kristi Noem's Ass

1 week ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

Illinois Governor JB Pritzker, a Democrat obviously, taught a lesson yesterday in how to troll Donald Trump’s Nazi Barbie DHS Secretary Kristi Noem, who is gallivanting around the country — and other countries — doing photo ops and apparently leaving her purse unattended and full of cash, in support of Trump’s vile immigration evils.
Josh Hawley Hopes Terribly Conducted Study Will Help Him Ban Abortion Meds

1 week ago | wonkette.com | Robyn Pennacchia

For the past week or so, anti-abortion lunatics have been positively drooling over a new “study” they claim proves that the abortion medication Mifeprex is terribly unsafe and leads to “serious adverse events” in over 10 percent of cases. It’s like a dream come true for them, really. It’s also been a dream come true for Senator Josh Hawley, who introduced legislation on Tuesday titled the Restoring Safeguards for Dangerous Abortion Drugs Act.