Ellen Snortland

1 week ago | pasadenaweekly.com | Ellen Snortland

“My wife and I object to your phrase, ‘I lost everything,’” Mr. Patronizing Putz wrote in a PM on Facebook. He continued, “We lost our home in the fire too, and we make sure we remain grateful for our lives.” I answered, “Puh-leaze! “Everything” obviously refers to material items, you nattering naybob of a nincompoop. I have always despised you, and this comment verifies why. You’re mansplaining gratitude to me? Do you really think that Ken and I don’t deeply appreciate not dying?

1 week ago | ladowntownnews.com | Ellen Snortland

“My wife and I object to your phrase, ‘I lost everything,’” Mr. Patronizing Putz wrote in a PM on Facebook. He continued, “We lost our home in the fire, too, and we make sure we remain grateful for our lives.” I answered, “Puh-leaze! ‘Everything’ obviously refers to material items, you nattering naybob of a nincompoop. I have always despised you, and this comment verifies why. You’re mansplaining gratitude to me? Do you really think that Ken and I don’t deeply appreciate not dying?

2 weeks ago | pasadenaweekly.com | Ellen Snortland

“It would break my heart to have the few trees who survived the wildfires that took our home die from thirst,” I said. (I refer to the trees as “who” because they are sentient beings in my eyes and heart; recent science tells us trees communicate with one another. I hope they’re telling each other to “hang in there.”) I mentioned my fear of tree death by lack of water to Beth, a choir friend. She said, “I heard there are private companies you can hire to water your trees.

2 weeks ago | ladowntownnews.com | Ellen Snortland

“It would break my heart to have the few trees who survived the wildfires that took our home die from thirst,” I said. (I refer to the trees as “who” because they are sentient beings in my eyes and heart; recent science tells us trees communicate with one another. I hope they’re telling each other to “hang in there.”) I mentioned my fear of tree death by lack of water to Beth, a choir friend. She said, “I heard there are private companies you can hire to water your trees.

3 weeks ago | pasadenaweekly.com | Ellen Snortland

Ken’s phone rang far too early to be someone we know. “I’m Janet, a field supervisor with the sub-contractor for the Army Corps of Engineers. I’m at your property right now.” I groggily asked, “What time is it?” Ken said, “It’s 7:15 a.m.” “What?!” Ken put Janet on speaker; she was apologetic, but her thick Texas accent made it difficult to understand her. Then the call dropped.