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1 month ago | 
volumeone.org | Mike Paulus |Eva Paulus
On a recent visit to my doctor, she noticed a bunch of scratch marks on my legs, down near my ankles, and said she could prescribe me some cream for my itchy, dry skin.
I told her there’d be no need for such creams and ointments, for I had not made these scratches. This was the work of my cat. Beans.
She said, “Oh! He must love to play.”
I told her, “Yes. He loves to play. But those marks aren’t from playing.
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1 month ago | 
volumeone.org | Mike Paulus |Eva Paulus
I have hairy forearms. You wouldn’t stare at them if you were seated next to me at a restaurant or anything, but upon close inspection, you’d discover I maintain a robust, masculine forest or arm follicles. The same is true for my legs. So if I’m sporting a T-shirt-n-shorts combo, I’ve got plenty of hair out there, a-blowin’ in the elements. And it’s not just my wife who loves it.
Gnats love it, too.
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2 months ago | 
volumeone.org | Mike Paulus |Eva Paulus
They think I can’t see them. But I can. Very early in the morning, I’m the first one up, staring out my windows into the grey-washed backyard. I’m barely awake, but there I am, watching. And I totally see them.
Shadowy beasts lopping from here to there. Black, pensive shapes going about their dark sky business, wary of neighborhood sounds and cars pulling from nearby driveways. Sometimes I’ll be in the kitchen when I catch sight of one.
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Mar 20, 2025 | 
volumeone.org | Mike Paulus |Eva Paulus
Back in third or maybe fourth grade, I had a chain. It was about 30 feet long with small links, maybe one inch each. I went outside and played with it when I got bored.
And I had stolen it. From my grade school.
With an earnest determination only children and the truly passionate among us seem to possess, I tried to develop a new style of fighting with the chain. Like karate or kung-fu or ninjutsu. But with a 30-foot chain that didn’t belong to me.
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Mar 6, 2025 | 
volumeone.org | Mike Paulus |Eva Paulus
It’s getting hard to describe the potholes around here. We’ve been talking about them for decades and we’ve simply run out of good adjectives. We can’t even call them “potholes” anymore. Instead, we say “sinkhole” or “crater” or “axle breaker” or “The Gaping Maw of Hell Itself.” Because they are getting big. And deep.
Hopefully, things will warm up soon and the city can get out there to patch things up.
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Feb 7, 2025 | 
volumeone.org | Mike Paulus |Eva Paulus
I don’t get sick very often. At least, not in the classical sense. I might have a day or two here and there when my throat is scratchy or my nose is running, and I randomly utter things like, “Ugh. I think I’m getting sick.”
Or, “Gah. My tummy is a little queasy.”
Or, “Bluh. The snot that’s constantly refilling my nose alternates wildly between liquid and solid states.”
Or, “Ga’zoinksaroo.
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Jan 23, 2025 | 
volumeone.org | Mike Paulus |Eva Paulus
Listen, I’m not one to spread conspiracy theories unless they’re probably true. Then I’m totally one to spread conspiracy theories. I’ll spread ’em like gooey hazelnut chocolate paste all over a crispy, buttery shortbread cookie yum yum yum.
So, when I look at the abysmal state of Wisconsin’s current winter season, I just know there’s something funny going on. And not funny-ha-ha. Funny-nah-nah, I ain’t buyin’ it.
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Nov 27, 2024 | 
volumeone.org | Mike Paulus |Eva Paulus
Here we are, nestled smack dab in the middle of the holiday season, when gratitude fills the air like pollen. You know, they say gratitude is “the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.”* And I am very grateful they said this. In fact, these words have inspired me to offer up a smattering of other things for which I am similarly grateful.
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Nov 25, 2024 | 
volumeone.org | Mike Paulus |Eva Paulus
Welcome to the holiday shopping season. This year, steer clear of the Amazon gift cards and the random board games you found at Target. Keep it local. Every dollar you spend at a local shop helps to support the place you call home, so don’t be a jerk by buying your loved ones the mass-produced crap for which they asked.
Instead, get them this other stuff.
Chippewa River Water. First, run over to the ol’ antique shop and buy a fancy-looking bottle.
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Oct 31, 2024 | 
volumeone.org | Mike Paulus |Eva Paulus
Ghost stories are not uncommon in my family. A number of different relatives have lived in an old family farmhouse where weird things have ... happened. Shaking beds. Screen doors flinging themselves open to welcome company. That sort of stuff. But nothing you wouldn’t see in a Disney movie.
There is one exception. I do have an aunt who claims to have had numerous ghostly encounters. She believes that a spirit followed her from house to house around the Wisconsin countryside most of her adult life.
