Evan Allgood

Oct 14, 2024 | newyorker.com | Evan Lian |Evan Allgood

“Why do you keep showing me pictures of Obama?”

Oct 4, 2024 | pointsincase.com | Evan Allgood

“Vogue wrote a lengthy puff piece about Walz’s dog, Scout, who serves as the ‘First Dog' of Minnesota.” — Fox NewsScout Walz, it should go without saying, does not eat chocolate. We’re at the St. Paul Dairy Queen on a bright, clear day in August. Scout, in his trademark charcoal collar, has ordered (off-menu) a vanilla pup cup. The barely-pubescent server has brought him chocolate.

Feb 22, 2024 | newsbreak.com | Evan Allgood

By signing up for our newsletter, you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Feb 22, 2024 | newyorker.com | Evan Allgood

At dusk the other night, I flew to Central Park to see my old friend Flaco. “Oh,” Flaco said, nodding his feathered head in the direction of a newsstand. “Looks like I’m on the cover of the Post again.” I could tell he’d chosen our meeting spot for that reason, but I just gave him a long, low hoot, like, “Wow, impressive.”Flaco usually hunts solo, but I hadn’t seen him in a while, and he insisted that he didn’t want to forget the “more common” owls who’d shown him the ropes.

Feb 16, 2024 | mcsweeneys.net | Evan Allgood

Son, what lunatic humors compelled you to cut down the tree? Your mother loved that tree! Seven years I spent nurturing and growing it, yet you obliterated it in a single afternoon. Did you really think I would not be angry just because you confessed? Truth, George, is a lovely quality in a youth. But do you know what is even lovelier? The capacity not to hack up your parents’ cherry tree for no goddamn reason. Did the tree offend you in some way? Did it fail to provide sufficient shade?