Evan Hurst

Memphis

Managing Editor at Wonkette

Managing editor @Wonkette. Proprietor, The Moral High Ground. Subscribe! https://t.co/8mgv04tSrH

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Articles

King Dementia Sat On The Toilet Last Night And Dropped Many Decrees!

2 days ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

Last night, something came over Donald Trump, and it was probably gas. Also pain and frustration that people seem to be respecting his authority a little less each day, plus a feeling that his dreams of being dictator king of the world are slipping away. So he got to making a flurry of stupid Hitler executive orders, we guess to make him feel better. Are they are all going to court for being facially illegal and unconstitutional?
Trump Comforts Putin In His Hour Of 'Oh F*ck, Ukraine Just Blew Up All My Planes!'

2 days ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

Yesterday, before Donald Trump went on a dictator bender issuing new travel bans and HEREBY ORDERING Harvard to stop admitting foreign students or faculty, and before he ordered an investigation into Joe Biden and his aides for whatever fucking dementia senile brainworms conspiracy theories were swirling around the bowl of his golden toilet right at that minute — President Bitchass is flailing, and if you don’t see that, you are not qualified to cover this stupid dictatorship — Trump had a...
Secretary Sh*tfaced Orders Renaming Of USNS Harvey Milk, Because He's A Little Bitch

3 days ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

In a move so toxically petty and insecure it could only originate from the stunted “leadership” of Secretary Shitfaced, AKA Pete Hegseth, the secretary has announced that he has ordered the Navy to rename the USNS Harvey Milk, we guess because ewwwwwwww icky gays make him feel like less of a man.
THIS Is The Guy They're Obsessed With? LOL. Tabs, Tues., June 3, 2025

4 days ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

Hi, good morning, here’s some shit we’re reading today:So it seems like we’ve finally reached the point where America may be really ready to learn what a fucking weird loser Curtis Yarvin is. You know all him, he’s the guy white MAGA Trump tech dorks are lining up to service like he’s some kind of brilliant philosopher Jesus, who JD Vance thinks is some kind of guru.
Bing-Bong The Taco Clown Not Taking This Tariff Ruling Very Well

1 week ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

Good morning, America. Your president had a really long extended bowel movement last night, and here’s what it looked like before he flushed:Suffice it to say he is not taking it well that the US Court of International Trade ruled that he didn’t have the authority to impose almost all his dumbass tariffs, even though the full 11-member appeals panel put an administrative stay on the three-judge panel’s ruling.
Chris Cillizza's Tesla Violently Stickered To Death, But Don't Worry It Got Better

1 week ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

The funniest thing of all time has happened, you can stop looking for funny things. Ageless wonder hack Chris Cillizza has taken to the pages of the Daily Beast to bemoan the brutal recent vandalism committed against his precious Tesla and the concomitant decline and fall of American civility it demonstrates. Chris Cillizza Says Trump Always Sues Everybody Except When He Doesn't.
Mean Judges Take Away Old Taco Bitch’s Loser Tariffs

1 week ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

Let’s cut to the late-breaking lede: A three-judge panel from the US Court of International Trade ruled that Donald Trump cannot have his idiot tariffs, no not any of them that he levied under the alleged authority of the 1977 International Emergency Economic Powers Act, he does not have this power.
Aryan Stock Photo Karoline Leavitt Has Thoughts About 'LGBT Graduate Majors'

1 week ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

White House Nazi Barbie Karoline Leavitt loyally marched over to Fox News last night to spread the regime’s propaganda, wearing of course that “What’s that smell” look that’s apparently permanently affixed to her Mar-a-Lago face. The subject of the evening was “education.” You know how MAGA loves “education.” And of course you know what the Trump regime is doing trying to remove all international students not only from Harvard but also just everywhere else.
CBS's Scott Pelley Tells 2025 Grads Where Trump And His Fascism Can Stick It

1 week ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

This has been getting much attention since the weekend, but it should get more. There’s been a lot of focus on what happened when West Point made the frankly poor choice to ask the current shitmouthed dictator wannabe of the United States to deliver its commencement speech. Had they seen him speak before? Were they familiar with his work? The fact that he started telling old-timey fuck stories about real estate developers and their “trophy wives” is mild.
Trump Notices For First Time Putin Like Really Into Killing

1 week ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

Donald Trump seems to be having trouble coming to terms with the fact that Vladimir Putin might not actually be the happy-go-lucky fun-loving cool dad he’s always been in their handler-bitch meetings. Of course, accepting reality would involve a whole set of facts Trump is in no way equipped to process, so he’s grasping in other directions. Trump also said to reporters on Sunday, “I’m not happy with what Putin is doing.