Evan Hurst

Memphis

Managing Editor at Wonkette

Managing editor @Wonkette. Proprietor, The Moral High Ground. Subscribe! https://t.co/8mgv04tSrH

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Articles

Kilmar Is Alive

6 days ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

Senator Chris Van Hollen said he wanted to stay in El Salvador until he was able to meet his constituent Kilmar Armando Abrego Garcia — who is not a terrorist, who the Department of Justice has shown no evidence is a member of MS-13 but sure has told a bunch of subhuman Nazi dogshit lies about it — and he succeeded. Kilmar was dressed in civilian clothes, interestingly, and they reportedly met at a hotel.
Pentagon Will Suspend Every Leaker Who Reveals That Hegseth Is Complete Buffoon!

1 week ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

Let’s dispense with something right now. Secretary Shitfaced, the drunk-skinned white mediocrity hire baboon who runs the Department of Defense, does not actually care about the sanctity of classified information or the leaking thereof. Go to hell and get serious.
Y'all Hear What Seth Rogen Said Right To Bezos's And Zuck's Little Fascist Trump-Sucking Faces?

1 week ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

We think we’re seeing a shift this week. We think there are signs — hopeful signs! — that the spell is breaking and the wool is coming back off of people’s eyes, and they’re remembering that Donald Trump is a pathetic, babbling, shitting, whining piece of urinal cake, just a ridiculous man, just a gigantic pile of grievances covered by ugly orange makeup, as opposed to a big scary evil genius dictator whose every wet fart they must obey.
But If Elon Sperms All The Babies, All The Babies Will Look Like Elon :(

1 week ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

Let us be clear: If you have heard any Unfounded Rumors on the internet about Elon Musk’s penis, like maybe it got thumped off in a drive-by dick-thumping accident or a botched hair plug surgery — WHATEVER — this Wall Street Journal article will not disabuse you of any of those Unfounded Rumors, as it does not address them specifically, but it does say he had sexual intercourse with a human woman for breeding purposes at least one time.
JD Vance Sending Lonely Late-Night Lying Nazi Tweets, Because He's A F*cking Scumbag

1 week ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

Recently, Second Lady Usha Vance shared in an interview that her husband Vice President Butthair is “lonely.” And we all laughed and laughed, because JD Vance deserves all manner of sadness, and that’s a start.
You'll Never Guess Which Trump Lawyer Idiot Is Shaking Down All These Law Firms

1 week ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

In the United States this week, the American president sat with an amateur hour Latin American dictator in the Oval Office and joked about sending American citizens to unaccountable concentration camps in that clown’s country. The concentration camp there to which he’s already sending innocent people — CECOT — is his first Dachau, or maybe it’ll prove to be his first Auschwitz.
Uh Oh, The TSA Scanner Made You Gay! Tabs, Tues., April 15, 2025

1 week ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

Good morning, here are tabs. We are still all trying to process the full Nazi display that happened in the Oval Office yesterday, but one thing’s for sure, this is not the same country this morning that it was yesterday morning. Or is it? Trump Tells El Salvador Presidente Bukele To Build Five More Mega-Prisons, For Americans!Timothy Snyder. The whole thread, but this:We reckon some people need to brush up on their history of exactly where Auschwitz and some of the other most horrific camps were.
They're Making New Wolves! Tabs, Tues., April 8, 2025

2 weeks ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

Good morning! Now a quick tabs. The Supreme Court — the right-wing, fascist Supreme Court — has decided that Donald Trump’s Nazi kidnappings to El Salvador may recommence under the bullshit Alien Enemies Act, BUT they all agree that — in theory at least — due process must be given? In theory? So that’s good? In theory? Surprise, Donald Trump is taking it as a total exoneration, we mean victory.
What Are Trump’s Dumbass Tariffs REALLY About? Let Sen. Chris Murphy Learn Ya!

3 weeks ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

So yesterday was the big day, “Liberation Day,” día de la liberación, where Donald Trump announced that — against the advice of every educated economist on the planet, and for no good reason besides his ass itches, and also he has all these insecurity wounds from childhood about people taking advantage of him and laughing at him — he was going to crash the worldwide economy. Quick, look at your 401K.
JD Vance And Karoline Leavitt Are Evil, Lying Assholes

3 weeks ago | wonkette.com | Evan Hurst

It’s not news that the evil fascist Trump administration is full of vicious subhuman liars, but we’re going to point it out every time we’re able.