Heather Havrilesky

Chapel Hill

Writer and Author at Ask Molly

Author of Foreverland (Ecco 2022) + 3 other books + Ask Polly + Ask Molly on Substack. Illustration by Michael Sowa. Mastodon: @[email protected]

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Articles

Trash

4 days ago | askmolly.substack.com | Heather Havrilesky

It’s been a disappointing morning, frankly. The Kosmos-482, a failed soviet-era space craft from 1972 that’s been orbiting the earth for fifty three years, disappeared from radar somewhere over Germany and no one is even sure where it landed. What good is living in a dystopian surveillance…
'Will I Ever Get Over This Heartbreak?'

6 days ago | ask-polly.com | Heather Havrilesky

Endgame (1944), Dorothea TanningDear Polly,I feel like I've wanted to write this out for the past half a year but haven’t been able to, and I am sorry for how long this is but I hope you will listen to me pouring my heart out. I'm a 20-year-old that has just been through my first real relationship and breakup. And yes, I know that I am so young (as every…
Behave

1 week ago | askmolly.substack.com | Heather Havrilesky

I told you to sit still, to stand still, to turn in a circle, to stay quiet, to flatter me, to show me your complementary colors, to offer me complimentary gifts, to compliment and complete me. I told you to inspire me, to move me, to overwhelm me, to erode my confidence, to destroy me. Did you obey?
'My Life Is Ruined and Now I'm Trapped!'

1 week ago | ask-polly.com | Heather Havrilesky

The Girl (1950), Dorothea TanningDear Polly,As the title says: I feel like my life is ruined, and now I'm trapped. I wish I could go back in time two years and do it all differently. I'm hoping you'll have some words of advice for me on how to deal with this situation. I used to live in a major city in Europe, which was very expensive. I had a job I like…
Flatter

1 week ago | askmolly.substack.com | Heather Havrilesky

Maybe She’s Born with It (2022), Flora YukhnovichThe robots will flatter us to death. Of course, everything else in our high capitalist lives does this already: We’re coaxed into believing that we deserve luxury, travel, eternal youth, easy solutions, compact footprints, gorgeous sight lines, breathable fabrics, soothing sounds, invigorating smells, and …
'How Do I Trust Myself?'

2 weeks ago | ask-polly.com | Heather Havrilesky

Éperdument (To Distraction) (1962), Dorothea TanningDear Polly,I am almost 50. Your response to What's the Point? was so deeply and wildly and awesomely right and it made me want to ask a question about how you begin to trust yourself as you try to feel your way through your life. I spent most of mine looking to other people for the answers to how I should live.
Chat

2 weeks ago | askmolly.substack.com | Heather Havrilesky

Thicker than Peanut Butter (2020), Flora YukhnovichThis is a conversation I had with ChatGPT a few days ago. (No, I didn’t write the responses.) The back and forth here is very long but I’m including all of it because this moment reminds me of January 2020: Something is speeding towards us and we can’t quite make out its shape yet. We’re all straining to see it more clearly while also watching each other grapple with what it might be and what might happen next.
'What's the Point?'

3 weeks ago | ask-polly.com | Heather Havrilesky

Between Lives (1989), Dorothea Tanning***If you don’t want to read about suicidal thoughts, you should skip this one.***Dear Polly,"What's the point?" That's the question that’s playing non-stop in the back of my mind. For years. Since I was very young I could never understand what is the point of living. The earliest memory I have of suicidal thinking was when I was 7 years old, about to enter first grade.
Glaze

3 weeks ago | askmolly.substack.com | Heather Havrilesky

I’m starting a new pottery class today. We’re going to learn about glazes: how to mix them, how they interact with each other. We’ll be making test tiles to see how different colors react to each other on different clay bodies. This is how speed dating should work: Experiment first. See how everyo…
'I Thought It Was Love, But Now I'm Not Sure!'

4 weeks ago | ask-polly.com | Heather Havrilesky

Zephirium apochripholiae (Windwort) (1997), Dorothea TanningDear Polly,I don’t know where to begin. I’m standing in the wreckage of something I thought was love, but now I don’t know anymore and that uncertainty is killing me. It was a relationship that was filled with the kind of intensity that seduces you into believing it must be love by how good it fe…