Ask Molly

For years, Molly has found herself overshadowed by her twin sister Polly, who is known for her upbeat and positive advice. This constant comparison has left Molly feeling irritable and overly proud. To make matters more complicated, both sisters write under the same pen name, "Heather Havrilesky." We agree, it does have a somewhat artificial ring to it.

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Articles

Pool

3 weeks ago | askmolly.substack.com | Heather Havrilesky

Last week I drove to the pool through a steady downpour. No one was parked in the parking lot. I let myself into the gate. No one was swimming. There were no kids and no lifeguards at the family pool. The rain was hitting the concrete and pelting the pool, steam was rising up and drifting east. I thought: Is this c…
Memorial

1 month ago | askmolly.substack.com | Heather Havrilesky

The Swing (1767), Jean-Honoré FragonardWe didn’t welcome the wisdom of our ancestors. We were too busy optimizing our communication styles. We didn’t listen to the spirits in the trees. We were too busy firming up our boundaries, saying no to everything we didn’t want until we didn’t know what we wanted anymore.
Trash

1 month ago | askmolly.substack.com | Heather Havrilesky

It’s been a disappointing morning, frankly. The Kosmos-482, a failed soviet-era space craft from 1972 that’s been orbiting the earth for fifty three years, disappeared from radar somewhere over Germany and no one is even sure where it landed. What good is living in a dystopian surveillance…
Behave

1 month ago | askmolly.substack.com | Heather Havrilesky

I told you to sit still, to stand still, to turn in a circle, to stay quiet, to flatter me, to show me your complementary colors, to offer me complimentary gifts, to compliment and complete me. I told you to inspire me, to move me, to overwhelm me, to erode my confidence, to destroy me. Did you obey?
Flatter

1 month ago | askmolly.substack.com | Heather Havrilesky

Maybe She’s Born with It (2022), Flora YukhnovichThe robots will flatter us to death. Of course, everything else in our high capitalist lives does this already: We’re coaxed into believing that we deserve luxury, travel, eternal youth, easy solutions, compact footprints, gorgeous sight lines, breathable fabrics, soothing sounds, invigorating smells, and …
Chat

2 months ago | askmolly.substack.com | Heather Havrilesky

Thicker than Peanut Butter (2020), Flora YukhnovichThis is a conversation I had with ChatGPT a few days ago. (No, I didn’t write the responses.) The back and forth here is very long but I’m including all of it because this moment reminds me of January 2020: Something is speeding towards us and we can’t quite make out its shape yet. We’re all straining to see it more clearly while also watching each other grapple with what it might be and what might happen next.
Glaze

2 months ago | askmolly.substack.com | Heather Havrilesky

I’m starting a new pottery class today. We’re going to learn about glazes: how to mix them, how they interact with each other. We’ll be making test tiles to see how different colors react to each other on different clay bodies. This is how speed dating should work: Experiment first. See how everyo…
Therapy

2 months ago | askmolly.substack.com | Heather Havrilesky

Hello, forever-lovers, soulmates, besties, and common creepers! It’s time to give you an update, but I’ve been delayed by factors that I think you’ll understand: 1) quality control, which demanded throwing out four to five drafts some of your less stringent and exacting newsletter writers would…
Dawn

Mar 22, 2025 | askmolly.substack.com | Heather Havrilesky

Powder Puff (2022), Flora YukhnovichI ask and an answer comes: don’t force the light, don’t stare straight into the sun, close your eyes and let the sinister earth breathe through you, let the stubborn stones speak, millions of years and they didn’t shrink, crumbling is another way of reorganizing yourself, eroding is another way of smoothing rough edges, listening to the tides, waiting patiently for the day when this low berm becomes a tall cliff overlooking the wide ocean.
Swampy

Mar 18, 2025 | askmolly.substack.com | Heather Havrilesky

“‘Whenever choosing a house,’ old Uncle Frog used to say, ‘see that there are plenty of damp patches on the walls. And if the roof leaks, so much the better.’” — Racey Helps, Kingcup CottageToday I woke up and one bird was singing. I listened more closely. A towhee.