Jeffrey Albus

One of my favorite yearly rituals is having no idea that the Super Bowl happened until it's already over, and only finding out about it because of some stupid controversy not even related to sportsball.

Geese are a malevolent force.

If I could eat all the potatoes on earth, I would do it.

RT @CryptoAidIsrael: Please share this video to show how your support drives real change through @zakaHQ. Zaka has the noble mission to br…

All I want from life is a mystical amulet to purposefully clutch in the dead of the night whilst muttering invocations to the spirit realm.

RT @Blockworks_: OPINION: Stop putting Caroline Ellison’s appearance on trial https://t.co/nMYaixuxnW

This account only exists so that if I’m ever involved in a massive #crypto scandal, John Oliver will have something funny to read while roasting me on Last Week Tonight. Fingers crossed.

'Discovery' should have done an episode where it's revealed that the warp core is actually powered by Gene Roddenberry spinning so rapidly in his grave that it creates perpetual energy.

One of my biggest futurist media dreams is that someday soon, we'll be able to reassemble an AI hallucinated Orson Welles cut of 'The Magnificent Ambersons,' recreated solely from surviving footage, the shooting script, and the director's personal notes.

In Tomorrowland, subject matter attestations are the only job AI hasn’t replaced.

Spaghetti is poorly designed. It doesn't even fit in the pot you're supposed to boil it in until it's already been cooked.

A rich person doesn’t have to tell you they’re rich. They just need the right avatar.

"The total decentralization of democracy into the hands of the populous it serves would render all representational figures obsolete," he screamed into the void.

When life hands you lemons, distribute them equitably amongst the populous. Food waste is a serious problem.

The apocalypse is not an event. It's an era.

#Bitcoin's price is rising because billionaires are buying all of it. This is causing a market shortage. No further mysticism required.

I'm from the future. Buy #Bitcoin.